You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Memo to Dubya: ONCE MORE, FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE!
Man, remember that smirking fuckwad, that Texas frat boy who never succeeded at anything in his entire life until he managed to get elected President? You know, the asshole who started two wars, strutted around in flight suits, implemented strategery, and finished the job his daddy started and Clinton helped with - you know, the job of returning America to the glory days of pre-Depression robber baron kleptocracy?
Well, now that the elections are over, and the vat-grown minions who spent his two terms cheerleading for the chimp are in charge, this world class motherfucker is back in the headlines, with a book and some interviews pimping said book. And it's chock full of... not exactly revelations per se, but certainly strong confirmations of just what a toxic combination of venal and vapid a man George W. Bush was. Let's start with the biggie. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!
"In his book, titled 'Decision Points,' Bush recounts being asked by the CIA whether it could proceed with waterboarding Mohammed, who Bush said was suspected of knowing about still-pending terrorist plots against the United States. Bush writes that his reply was 'Damn right' and states that he would make the same decision again to save lives, according to a someone close to Bush who has read the book." - The Washington Post
OK, first, I'd like to ask every single person in the world who equated calling Obama a "socialist" or "Muslim" with calling Bush a "war criminal" to line up and kiss my sweet, sweet ass. The single most galling thing about that false equivalency was the assumption that we called Dubya a war criminal because we didn't like him, and "war criminal" is a bad thing to call somebody.
But we called him a war criminal because torturing prisoners is a war crime, and we believed he'd authorized the torture of prisoners. And lo and behold, he admits it. Oh, sure, he admits it years later, after a lengthy and deplorable public relations campaign by the organized right in America to desensitize the country to torture and make us think the terrorists were so bad that a little light torture was too good for them. So that he can admit it with impunity and sell more books.
But the fact remains. Bush authorized waterboarding, waterboarding is torture, torture is a war crime, Bush is a war criminal. You are of course still free to decide for yourself how bad it is that America's president committed war crimes - clearly, many people are just fine with that. But you no longer get to bitch about our taxonomy or deem it "uncivil discourse". And speaking of uncivil discourse...
"He called me a racist. And I didn’t appreciate it then. I don’t appreciate it now. It’s one thing to say, ‘I don’t appreciate the way he’s handled his business.’ It’s another thing to say, ‘This man’s a racist.’ I resent it, it’s not true. Yeah. I still feel that way as you read those words. I felt ‘em when I heard ‘em, felt ‘em when I wrote ‘em, and I felt ‘em when I’m listening to ‘em." - Bush, to Matt Lauer.
The words he read, by the way? "But the suggestion that I was racist because of the response to Katrina represented an all-time low.", from his book.
That pretty much sums up the Bush presidency right there. The all time low of his presidency was when a rapper said he didn't care about black people because he presided over one of the worst disaster responses to one of the worst disasters in American history. And not just any rapper, Kanye West.
I mean, this is so ridiculous that even Matt Lauer calls him on it, asking him how people might take him being called a name an "all-time low", and not the devastation and loss of life that triggered his being called a name. Chimpy McFuckerton's response?
"No, and I also make it clear that the misery in Louisiana affected me deeply as well. There’s a lot of tough moments in the book. And it was a disgusting moment, pure and simple."
It's good to know that thousands of people drowning, starving, dying, and/or losing their entire livelihoods affected him almost as deeply as Kanye West being mean to him on the teevee. We will truly never see his like again when it comes to the almost casual conflation of utter clueless and privileged evil. Another case in point, just to drive that point home.
"I was a dissenting voice. I didn’t want to use force. I mean force is the last option for a President. And I think it’s clear in the book that I gave diplomacy every chance to work. And I will also tell you the world’s better off without Saddam in power. And so are 25 million Iraqis." - Bush, again with Lauer.
I read this with the experience of living through eight years of the Bush presidency, and writing about it for nearly half that time, and all I can take from this is that this isn't an act. That he actually believes these things about himself. Maybe he believed them at the time, and maybe he didn't, but years of repeating the same worn talking points about the Iraq war have clearly worn grooves in Bush's otherwise smooth, featureless gray matter that are there to stay.
Dubya will go to his grave believing in his heart of hearts that he removed a dangerous dictator, improved the lives of millions of Iraqi civilians, didn't really want to use force until the Iraqis forced him into it by blowing up the World Trade Center (which he knows, by the way, because the guy he righteously tortured told him so), and did his best to help those poor Louisiana people.
Even being convicted by a war crimes tribunal wouldn't change that at this point. Still, that's no reason not to try to prove me wrong.