Natural Family

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I Know Who Should Go Underground

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Memo to Bryan Fischer: IT'S OK. YOU'RE ALREADY THE WORST.

I trust you're all familiar, and all too familar, by now with Bryan Fischer, president of the American Family Association and worst person on the planet. You may think some genocidal warlord is worse, but the only thing keeping Bryan Fischer from being a genocidal warlord is the rule of law. And even that is barely keeping this asshole in check.

Case in point. In Vermont, Lisa Miller, one half of a lesbian couple in a civil union, with a daughter, found Jesus. She renounced her homosexuality, kidnapped the kid, and took it, first to Virginia, then, with the help of Mennonites, to Nicaragua, all to keep the child away from her other mother, even though the other mother got custody when Miller repeatedly violated the court-ordered visitation policy.

That's called international parental kidnapping, and it means, among other things, Interpol is trying to catch you. Not "master art thief" trying, I'm sure, but still. You are a fugitive from justice. You've broken the law repeatedly. You've done shitty, shitty things in the name of your god. And so did the Mennonite sect that helped you.

Guess how the global leader in doing shitty, shitty things in the name of their god reacted to the trial of that Mennonite leader? On Twitter, no less? ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"Head of Underground Railroad to deliver innocent children from same-sex households goes on trial"

First of all, it's not "children", it was one kid. Although clearly, Fischer would like it to be more than that. He'd like children everywhere snatched out of same-sex households and taken into hiding in Central American barrios because that sure is better than being raised by loving gay parents (or, if one of the parents goes apeshit Jesus-freak ex-gay, one loving gay parent, I guess).

Lest you think Fischer was thrown off by the 140 character limit, he followed up in detail on the radio. "In my judgment, the mom had no choice. Moms have a sacred, solemn duty, a responsibility to God to look out for the welfare of their kids."

Well, it's not sacred. And it's rarely solemn. But here's the big thing. Individuals don't get to decide, in broad strokes, what constitutes "the welfare of their kids". The government, for example, says that parents can't decide that factory work instead of school is "the welfare of the kid". Similarly, the whole point of custody cases is to decide, in a court of law, what's best for "the welfare of the kid".

You may well have some completely psychotic idea of what's bad for your kid's welfare, because you're a bigoted old coot who probably jerks off to gay porn as many times a day as your decrepit physiology permits, or a freak job who's extra bonus hateful towards gay people because you know you are one. But that doesn't mean you have carte blanche to override the American court system.

And it doesn't make you noble, and it doesn't put you anywhere near the moral high ground of the Underground Railroad. It just makes you sick, twisted little fucks that we, as a nation, generally agree should stay a lot farther away from kids than most gay people.

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