8 June, 2012 - 20:37 — Bryan Lambert
Fuck, I have to say something about Wisconsin, don't I? What a clusterfuck. Unlike The Daily Show, I thought the recall was a good idea in principle, because Scott Walker ran on a platform of not being that big a shithead, got elected on the basis of not being that big a shithead, and then spent his first three months in office being as big a shithead as he could possibly be.
But that's the thing. Three months being a shithead when it was going to be another 18 before he could run in a recall election means 15 months of pretending he was never that big a shithead. And if ANY politician has fifteen months to pretend to be what they're not, they're going to get away with it. Mitt Romney's problem is that he never gives himself a consistent point of view for more than a few months. Which is why the wingnuts have never accepted him as one of their own, and the moderates are having a tough time of it now. But Walker got all his bullshit out of the way right off the bat, and then sat back and spent over a year with a "Who, Little Old Me?" expression on his cheese-soaked puss.
So, yeah, the recall was doomed as long as Walker could keep from flipping off nuns and slapping babies, and he did, and so all the people that voted for him two years ago voted for him again, and all the people who voted against him two years ago voted against him again, and all we've gotten out of it is confirmation that three decades of non-stop union-busting has done the job. A nation of fucked-over, exploited workers has learned the lesson that the problem is not the people who are doing the overfucking and the exploiting - the problem is their neighbors who haven't been fucked over and exploited enough yet. "I should have what he has" has turned into "Take his shit away so he's as miserable as I am".
So there's no way Wisconsinites were going to be swayed by bad things done to People Who Are Not Them, and the people the bad things got done to were mostly anti-Walker in the first place. Chalk this one up to apathy and short attention spans and general human shittiness, because, guess what? That's the best case scenario.
The worst case scenario? "Wah, wah, we got outspent ten to one!" "Wah, wah, Kochs bought the election!" You'd better fucking well hope not. Yes, a shit-ton of wingnut money poured into Wisconsin. Yes, most of it got spent by Walker. And let's all hope that correlation does not equal causation, because guess who's gonna be able to outspend Barack Obama by a significant amount using the same exact mechanisms that better not have bought the Wisconsin election? That's right, the Stormin' Mormon and cop uniform fetishist, Mitt Romney.
Oh, and while I'm at it? "Wah wah dirty tricks, wah wah robocalls, wah wah cheating." Also true. And also absolutely going to be in play in November, because guess what? These tricks have been employed for election after election without anybody going to fucking jail, and all the scrutiny instead going to make sure poor people have to bring their birth certificates to the polls in order to vote. Merry fucking Christmas.
None of this is fair. All of this should be fixed. And none of it is going to be fixed by November, No international watchdog is going to monitor the elections in OUR little banana republic, and if they do, the winners cited in it are just going to use the report to light their celebratory cigars. So cross your fingers that 53% of Wisconsinites are irredeemable fuckheads, and not morons easily swayed by a barrage of ads and fooled by lying phone calls about whether or not they need to vote. Irreedeemable fuckheads are our only hope.