You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Memo to Billy Crystal: THANKS FOR PROVING ME WRONG, ASSHOLE.
I'm still recovering from a Hobbes cold (nasty, brutish, and short), but in the interests of fairness, I'd like to point out just how incredibly wrong I was in a prediction I made last November. ACTUAL ME QUOTE TIME!
"I should start a betting pool for how many hits "Oscars" AND "return to form" will appear on Google News between the telecast and the next weekend. My prediction is over 800. I'm sure Tom Shales and his ilk are writing their reviews for next year's ceremony even as we speak. Including their noting of Crystal's "daring" nod to the controversy by making a joke about "rehearsal" in the first 15 minutes."
Although, in my defense, who would have thought the big Google News combination would have been "Oscars" and "blackface"? Honestly, I don't think Billy Crystal's Sammy Davis Jr. impression rises quite to the level of traditional offensiveness the word "blackface" evokes, but neither do I think it rises to the level of "funny".
Why was the Sammy impression there at all? It makes no sense comedically. It doesn't tie into Midnight In Paris, it doesn't make any sense with Justin Bieber. It didn't need to be there. Why was it there? Someone please explain to me why it was there! I mean, beyond "Billy Crystal is desperately coasting on old bits for their recognition value". We all knew that.
Also, I was wrong about them bothering to mention the whole Ratner / Eddie Murphy / "rehearsal is for fags" thing. That joke's ecological niche was filled by an endless series of jokes about the Kodak Theater. I think. I was in and out of consciousness for like the first hour and a half, and then, like the rest of America, I stopped paying attention.
On the other hand, I bet I was right about him not being back next year, even if I was wrong about the reason.