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The Pederasty Of Hope

« February 2017 »

Memo to CPAC, Milo Nanopenis, and Simon and Schuster: HA HA HA HA HA.

This is a You Are Dumb Dot Net Special Tuesday Report on a very, very bad 24 hours for CPAC, Milo Nanopenis, and logic.

They invited Nanopenis to CPAC. They invited him to CPAC because over the last 15 years or so, conservativism has consisted of one single principle. If liberals are mad at it, it's good. Liberals were mad at Dubya. Dubya must be good. Liberals are mad at Trump? Let's defend and elect Trump, even though we call ourselves Evangelical Christians and he grabs women by the pussy.

And liberals were angry with Nanopenis, because, well, Nanopenis is a provocateur and monster who says horrible things either because he's a horrible person who believes them or he's a horrible person who doesn't believe them, and who gives a shit either way? So CPAC invited him to speak because he makes liberals angry.

And then previously extant and known-about tape resurfaced of Nanopenis saying horrible things about how he was OK with dudes in their 30s having sex with 13-year-old boys. And CPAC had a problem. Because either it's OK to do what colleges have been doing and deny someone a speaking gig because their views are reprehensible, or FREE SPEECH UBER ALLES and have a defender of statutory rape speak at CPAC. They chose the former, knowing full well that logical inconsistency hasn't made a dent in CPAC ever.

And then he lost the quarter-million book deal he got with Simon and Schuster for the same reason, because somehow, this was what made him too toxic to sell a bunch of books to an audience that wouldn't read them, but would buy them, because they know Nanopenis makes liberals angry.

Anyway, what's important is, for the first time in a long time, a horrible person experienced consequences for being horrible. And if that doesn't give you hope these days, what can? It's a President's Day miracle!

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