You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for most Tuesdays and the occasional fuckbotch. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. For a take on what a blog by me would be like, check out OLDNERD.
Memo to Roy Moore: I'M GONNA OUTLAST YOU, PIGFUCKER.
I've been writing about Judge Roy Moore for a long time. A very long time. Long enough for him to ascend to the Alabama Supreme Court, then get removed from office for being an asshole, then lose a string of political elections, then somehow being elected as Alabama's Chief Justice after, and I want to make this perfectly clear, being REMOVED FROM OFFICE for being horrible.
So, when federal courts overturned Alabama's gay marriage ban, it did not surprise me that the state's biggest asshole, the man who fought for years to keep a religious statue on government property because fuck you if you don't love Jesus, that's why, went above and beyond the call of duty to try to stop gay marriage.
Moore has ordered the state's probate judges to ignore the ruling, and not issue any marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Some have complied with his order, some have complied with the law. Moore's long-established shaky grasp of how things work tells him that he can ignore federal court orders because federal and state courts are equal, and, well, he's the state court.
In the process, Moore has hit on so many anti-gay tropes it's not even worth bothering to quote them. He's claimed to have many gay friends, which cannot possibly be true. I suspect they're only using him for the sex. He claims that by stopping same-sex marriage he will stop polygamy and incest, but slippery slope arguments are even worse than usual coming from a man who's claiming he can stop any law he wants just by saying so.
And when asked about the so-obvious-it's-sad-not-funny historical parallel of the last time Alabama thought it could ignore federal court orders when it came to equal treatment of minorities, well, Moore "demurred", according to Bloomberg's David Knowles.
Must be nice to be able to just demur when someone compares you to a segregationist on account of you acting like a segregationist, and a supposed journalist just letting you do it. And I suspect Moore has learned just barely enough from history to avoid turning firehoses and dogs on gay people trying to get married, so he'll keep getting away with it.
But he won't keep getting away with it forever. The Supreme Court will probably intervene first, and if he doesn't, well, he's already 68, so it won't be long before, ideally, his corpse is discovered in a very compromising, revealing, and ultimately hypocritical position. But I'll take whatever I can get.
We can outlast him. And if we can outlast him, I certainly can. If this isn't Roy Moore's last hurrah, but if it's not, I'll be sure to remind you of his history of awfulness yet again.