Idiots Say The Damndest Things

This Really Should Be A Bigger Story

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Memo to the Duggars, Jim-Bob Duggar, and a Duggar wannabe: YOU ARE DUMB.

Oh, I'm not done yet. There was one point that I wasn't able to hit on Monday, and two new items that have come to light in the last couple of days. But in every single case, there's no denying that IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"Even though we would never choose to go through something so terrible, each one of our family members drew closer to God." - The Duggar Family official statement.

I have two problems with this statement. The first is the tendency for religious people to see everything horrible that happens as an opportunity to get even more religious. It's always irritating just on the grounds of basic rationality, but here, it's even worse. Because what happened with their son is so clearly a direct consequence of their freaky-deaky version of Christianity.

The whole point of having nineteen kids, and encouraging "side-hugs" so that no naughty bits touch and every single other part of their whole entire deal is that they're closer to their (weird, wrong version of) God than the rest of us, and closer than anyone can be to God. But you weren't close enough, I guess. You needed your eldest son to molest some of your daughters to really close that God gap. You horrible, horrible people.

"Rape and incest represent heinous crimes, and as such should be treated as capital crimes." - The platform of Jim Bob Duggar, unsuccessful 2002 Senate candidate

This is, clearly, awful. It's awful on the face of it, the barbarity of just throwing around stuff as capital crimes out of religious vindictiveness. It's awful due to the hypocrisy, and yes, this was on his campaign website after he learned what his son had done. So, you know. Capital offence for thee, but not for me and mine. But it gets better, by which I mean it gets much, much worse.

Because the whole reason Jim-Bob Duggar was talking about rape and incest as capital crimes, deserving of execution, was because he was making an argument that women who've been raped, and women who've been the victim of incest, shouldn't be allowed to have abortions. That's exactly the kind of twisted ideology that, in many ways, embodies everything I started this website to hate on. It took 13 years from quote to reality to make it happen, but fake kudos, you Dominionist hell-patriarch.

"This was not a major reason for the offending, but it allowed my little sister to be open to what I made her do. A different lifestyle, with more modesty, might have prevented what happened.” - An unnamed sexual abuse perpetrator, counseled by the same program that counseled Josh Duggar, explaining what he learned from God's Own Bill Cosby, Bill Gothard.

This is not Josh Duggar. Mama Duggar's not a nurse - that's a schedule that's simply incompatible with a permanently occupied uterus. But it is an older brother, caught molesting his younger sisters, and the family got counseling and a report from the same organization they shipped Josh off to - the Advanced Training Institute, part of the Institute for Basic Life Principles, which I need to remind you has a founder who had to step down after nearly three dozen accusations of sexual assault.

And because his sisters were allowed to get out of the bath in towels, and because they weren't allways apparently making sure their dresses covered every inch of their legs, according to a report released by Recovering Grace, this was a MINOR reason for why their brother molested them. You see, his mother didn't understand how "visual" men were, and how the mere sight of underage related ladyflesh could drive them to acts of abuse. How everyone else manages to resist this temptation is left as an exercise for the reader, I guess.

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