You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Memo to Google: GODDAMMIT.
Google is shutting down Google Reader on July 1. This isn't so much a proper column, because yesterday was Deal With Plumbing evening and not so much Writing Evening, but I figured I'd take a few minutes and get this out there.
I mean, Google's got billions to throw at the X-Ray Specs of the new millennium. How difficult would it really be for them to keep a few legacy nerd apps around that meet specific niche needs cleanly and efficiently?
The point is, I need a replacement. And no, not Google Currents, or Feedly, or Taptu, or Pulse, or MOTHERFUCKING FLIPBOARD. You know what all five of CNet's "recommended alternatives" have in common? They all think I use RSS because I want a customized version of Us Pighumping Weekly. I do not want a magazine interface. Magazine interfaces are stupid. Here's what I need.
I need a big-ass list of headlines from a big-ass list of feeds. I need to be able to skim them, read them, or click through to them as necessary. I need to be able to file them away for later use. Months later. And ideally, I need to be able to have one feed across multiple devices, so that if I read or mark read two dozen stories on my desktop, those stories are still read when I get on the bus. And any new stories I read on the bus are read when I get to my destination and have a whole other screen.
You know what did this, without shoving double rows of square panels, giant pictures, and other bullshit in my face? Google Reader. But I guess we don't get to keep nice things.
So I need an alternative. Free would be nice, flat fee is doable, subscription is out of the question. So much of my methodology and habit of writing this column is deeply intertwined with the Google Reader experience, so I'll have to use most of the time before Reader goes away in July practicing with one or more alternatives before I find the best one. Shoot me an e-mail if you've got any suggestions, and join me in a collective flipping off of Google that they'll probably just turn into an interactive HTML5 logo that everyone will think is adorable.