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Thursday Quickies

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Memo to a bunch of random stuff: YOU ARE DUMB.

A rare Thursday Lightning Round of short takes on current events, because needs must when the devil drives. And, you know. An episode of Arrow on the DVR that, left unwatched, would mean avoiding the Internet until that situation was rectified. Luckily, I have lots of tiny opinions.

Hillary Clinton's argument that Bernie Sanders isn't really a Democrat isn't going to convince any Sanders supporters that they should be supporting her instead, and seems like a small thing to be shitty about, both fror Clinton and for the media outlets that keep asking her about it.

If you completely miss the fact that your new Antonin Scalia School of Law spells "ASSLaw until the Internet points it out to you in the most embarassing way, then you probably shouldn't be in charge of managing $30 million bribes ($10 from a Koch, $20 from an anonymous donor" to essentially hang Scalia's taxidermied head over the front door.

The usual idiots are upset because a new expansion for teenage Dungeons and Dragons PC game Baldur's Gate features an incidental non-player character who reveals she was raised as a boy if you follow her dialogue tree a certain way. They're upset by a trans woman with a microscopic role in a video game, but are fine with decades of the fake women they've been jacking it to. Because they're garbage.

In Trump news, he explained how he'd make Mexico pay for the wall. Basically by holding a lot of their money hostage until they pay up. Basically, international extortion. Because he's classy like that.

In other Trump classy news, footage has surfaced of him, with Robin Leach, sexually objectifying his then one-year-old daughter, Tiffany. This is simultaneously the most and least surprising thing in history.

One of these days, I'm going to have a looooooong "get off my lawn" style talk with nerds about the verb "to ship".

In the wake of pro-discrimination bills passing or nearly passing in the horde of the usual pigfucker states, it's important for me to reiterate that I have been using bathrooms with chromosomal men my entire life, and have never once seen a penis. Not once. Your mileage may vary, but I bet it doesn't vary by a stastistically significant number of penises.

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