Spastic Topic Monkey Friday
The White, The Straight, And The Crazy
24 May, 2013 - 21:53 — Bryan Lambert
Memo to Robert Huber, Lech Walesa, and Louisiana: YOU ARE DUMB.
Project Readergeddon continues apace. Five weeks after this to go. A total of seven columns, and somewhere in the order of two dozen or fewer items I still want to make sure I cover before they vanish forever. Let's get into it with some stuff from early March. SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!
Hey, fellow white people? Let me give you a little advice. When you find yourself about to write, say, or publish something you think most white people are too afraid to bring up, there's probably a good reason for it. And you should share their wariness.
Robert Huber didn't heed that advice, and wrote an article in Philadelphia Magazine titled "Being White", in which Huber wishes he could tell the African-American community to "get its act together", then interviews a bunch of racist middle-class white people so they can drop n-bombs, complain about lazy black people smoking pot and making babies, and occasionally expressing surprise that poor black children can be happy sometimes.
The reason this kind of talk is avoided is because it's FUCKING STUPID. You're not saying what needs to be said, you're saying what's always been said, only we're trying to say it a little less openly now because, again, it's fucking stupid.
So, Lech Walesa hates gay people.
If you were semi-aware in the 80s, you think of Walesa as one of the good guys. He was like an Eastern European Mandela, fighting for workers and democracy against Russia and communism.
But he's also 69 years old, Catholic, has eight kids, and lives in Poland, one of the Meccas, if you'll pardon the expression, for social uberconservatives worldwide who admire Poland's stance on issues like homosexuality. It's not a shock that someone with Walesa's background would say that gay people need to stay out of politics and should "adjust to smaller things". But it is a surprise if you haven't paid attention to him for twenty years and only remember his 80s image through the filter of the politics of the day.
About the only upside is that with eight kids, the odds of one of them coming out to him before he dies is higher than for most people.
So, Louisiana's school voucher program is winding its way through the courts, where it will probably die a well-deserved legal death. But it's always good to remember why we shouldn't give tax money to religious people to teach our kids stuff. Because they teach them stuff like this. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!
"Many young people turned to drugs and immoral lifestyles; these youth became known as hippies. They went without bathing, wore dirty, ragged, unconventional clothing, and deliberately broke all codes of politeness or manners. Rock music played an important part in the hippie movement and had great influence over the hippies. Many of the rock musicians they followed belonged to Eastern religious cults or practiced Satan worship." - The actual text from an actual eighth grade history textbook actually used in actual schools Louisiana tax money paid for.
Nobody comes right out and says it, but one of the reasons we have separation of church and state is that we don't want state to be this dumb. It didn't work out that way, but it's still an admirable goal.