You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Memo to Michelle Malkin: YOU ARE DUMB.
If there is a single universal truth in today's world, it is this. If you, at some point, find yourself agreeing with Michelle Malkin, something is wrong. Either wrong like wrong in the head, or wrong like missing an important small fact that you didn't know you lacked. This truth proved itself again when I found myself closer than anyone should be to finding themselves aligned with America's premiere cheerleader for Japanese internment camps.
You see, the Contra Costa County school board got sued recently over religion in schools. And they just won an appeal, which has the Malkins of the world up in arms. This is not normally a surprise, but in a gloriously ironic twist, the Thomas More Law Center found itself defending secularism.
You see, the Contra Costa County school district taught a three week segment of seventh grade history on Islam. And suddenly, it all becomes clear. When it comes to science class, the More Center believes that their religion is better than no religion. But when it comes to history, no religion is better than the wrong religion.
Now, since I'm a big fan of no religion being better than any religion, I found myself a bit uncomfortable with the nature of the three-week program as reported in the right-wing bloggery. It consisted of a series of role-playing exercises in which the little bastards acted like Muslims. So they gave up something for a day to learn about Ramadan. Which is fine. And take Muslim names. Which is fine. And recite prayers. Which made me REALLY FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE.
Not the way the More Center got uncomfortable. I know that, counter to the Malkinista claims, the school system wasn't indoctrinating the children in the ways of Islam. These are seventh graders. Schools can barely indoctrinate them in the ways of reading. No white Presbyterian Contra Costa preteens came out of the history class planning to face Mecca five times a day from then on. That's ludicrous.
I'm just uncomfortable with prayer recitals as teaching tools. It's a matter of respect. Prayers are sacred things, things of faith, and you should only be reciting them if you're one of the poor suckers who actually buys into it. Read the prayers, fine. Learn about them, dissect them, look at what cultural and historical truths they speak to, but just reciting them? That's icky.
So it's a damn good thing that's not what actually happened in Contra Costa classrooms. The -teacher- recited prayers. The students did not. In fact, in the curriculum, pasted right in the middle of Michelle Malkin's "oh how horrible" blog entry, we find the following. ACTUAL OH THANK FUCK QUOTE TIME!
"Owing to the sensitive nature of imitating another's form of prayer, your group will not be asked to directly simulate the activity. However, you should show understanding of the meaning of several religious sayings that illustrate Islamic beliefs."
Oh. Well, that's OK then. Once again, crazy racist right-wing assholes have taken something innocent and educational, and tried to demonize it by equating it with the kind of indoctrinating, prosletyzing bullshit they keep getting smacked down in court for. They let THEM do THAT but they don't let US do THIS! All part of good old post-millienial Christian victimhood, folks. Move along. Nothing new to see here.
Jay, with no last name, at a charming little blog called "Stop The ACLU", asked the typical question. ACTUAL OH FUCK NOT THIS AGAIN QUOTE TIME!
"Can we find a teacher out there willing to make some Muslim students pretend to be Christians for a few weeks? You know, just to better understand the culture and all."
Of course, American Muslims don't need to go to school to learn about Christian culture. All they have to do is walk down the street. Turn on the TV. Have lunch at Cracker Barrel. Or look three rows ahead of them on the plane at the woman who's pointing at them and hyperventilating.
This, by the way, is coming from a religious tradition that asks its followers to go to other countries, with other cultures, and other religions, and having everyone there act like a Christian. Only it's not role-playing, and it doesn't stop after three weeks. A practice so ubiquitous an enire means of fucking got named after it.
So as you go to sleep tonight, in a chaotic, uncertain world, at least you can sleep soundly knowing one thing is constant. Michelle Malkin is still, and shall always be, a wrong-headed, racist bitch-harridan.