You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for most Tuesdays and the occasional fuckbotch. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. For a take on what a blog by me would be like, check out OLDNERD.
Memo to Michelle Malkin: YOU ARE WRONG.
And the best part is, you know it. That's the part that makes me laugh. That's the part that makes me sleep peacefully. Knowing that Michelle Malkin was wrong, in a big way, twice in one week. And knows it. And has to pretend she doesn't know it and it's no big deal, which is the icing on the awesome cake.
If you were reading this column at the beginning of December, you learned about how the right-wing blogs, spearheaded by Michelle Malkin, were trying to prove that Iraq was doing really well. They were trying to prove this by discrediting one AP story where six people were burned alive outside a mosque. And their chief means of proving THAT was the US military and Iraqi governments refusal of or inability to verify the existence of one of the AP's sources, a police captain named Jamil Hussein.
It was bullshit for any number of reasons, and honestly, I figured they'd moved on to photoshopping Nancy Pelosi's head on various animals or whatever it is they do between rounds of trying to bring down the liberal media. But no, they kept on the case, to the extent that Michelle Malkin was just about to hop a plane to Iraq to settle the question herself. And maybe find Nicole Simpson's real killer while she was over there.
Last Thursday, Jamil Hussein turned up. Under arrest, as it turns out. For talking with the media in one of those "freedom is on the march" moments that makes you know all that money and blood was really worth it. Now, I'm not going to get into why Malkin's official line is so ridiculous, or the history of past statements that make it ridiculous. There are plenty of blogs you can find that at. Trust me. I put it here only for context. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!
"I repeat what I said yesterday: 'As Curt and other bloggers on this story have noted from the beginning, Jamilgate isn't just about "Jamil Hussein."' ... I regret the error. But no blogger should apologize for raising legitimate questions about AP's transparency, its reliance on local foreign stringers of dubious origins, and information that sources such as Hussein have provided the AP. I will continue to pursue some of the unresolved issues related to this."
Of course they're not admitting they're wrong. And even if they WERE wrong, they were right to be wrong. It's the same idea you saw after the Flying Imams. Sure, the facts proved us wrong, but we were still right to think the way we did. It's the situation's fault for playing into our inherent assumptions and prejudices!
They can't admit they're wrong. I never expected them to. Not because they're bad people (although they are) or stupid (although they are), but they CAN'T. They absolutely can't. They can't because Jamilgate was constructed entirely on the back of important fundamental wingnut assumptions. The military is right, and should be trusted. The press is not only incompetent, but deliberately making shit up to undermine the war effort. These aren't hypotheses, subject to re-evaluation. These are known truths of the universe to these people.
And if a conclusion drawn based on those truths happens to blow up in their faces in a huge, publicly embarrassing and humiliating way, that doesn't change the rightness of those assumptions, and thus, they were right to reach those conclusions even though those conclusions were wrong, and their diligence in pursuing those conclusions may have endangered Jamil Hussein's life. Collateral damage is inevitable, even when you're fighting the war from behind your keyboard.
And that's how I can be so sure that as batshit stupid crazy as she is, Malkin knows, deep in her subcockle area, that she screwed this pooch, and screwed it hard. Oh, they'll hem and haw and salvage what they can out of it, but don't think they don't know. They have to save face because this fuck-up strikes to the very core of who they are and what they believe, and they pursued it with such conviction and doggedness.
And that's what makes it so goddamn funny.