Big Hollywood

The FCC Will Not Let This Revolution Be Televised

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Memo to Robert Davi: GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

Robert Davi is, for a very loose definition of the term, an "entertainer", an actor and self-proclaimed singer who is also, at least in his own mind, somewhat of a political rabble-rouser. He will rant at anyone who will listen, and generally speaking, the only people who will listen are our old friends at Big Hollywood.

His latest screed, a call for a non-violent revolution against political correctness in order to save America from our subversive government, is hilarious in at least four distinct ways. Ways which, it should come as no surprise to you, I'm about to enumerate.

Let's start with the basic premise. I'm the universe's most ardent fan of hyperbole, but even I find Davi's prose a tad ultraviolet:

"While some of us fight for gay rights, there is no attempt to battle those attempting to control our language in the guise that it is 'racist' or 'sexist.' This is a major battleground, and most do not realize it is taking place. This is the Yorktown of a new American revolution."

Robert Davi's idiocy cannot be overemphasized here. First, if political correctness does try to "control language", it doesn't do it under the guise that the language is racist or sexist, it does it because it's racist or sexist. No guise necessary, really, either for political correctness or for Davi to oppose it, since he spends a lot of his article talking about all the times he's been called names hasn't hurt him, so there's nothing wrong with it.

Also, you can't call for a revolution in paragraph 2, and then seven paragraphs later compare your freshly called-for revolution to a decisive battle FIVE YEARS INTO the revolution you're comparing it to. Well, I mean, you can, but only if you want to look like a complete poseur in the historical analogy arena. And the spend-two-minutes-googling-Yorktown arena.

In addition to the ludicrousness on the basic premise and historical analogy fronts, Davi supports his need for a revolution with a single example - the changing of the lyrics to "Baa Baa Black Sheep" because "black" is racist and "boy" is sexist.

There is no citation for this, and in fact is presented starting with the phrase "Recently I heard of...", which is the hallmark of all great scholarship. Again, two minutes in Google led me to discover that this has, in fact happened. AMERICA IS DOOMED.

And when I say "America", of course, I mean "Britain" and "Australia", which is where it actually happened, proving somehow that American political correctness is out of control. Oh, and also, it first happened in Britain around 1999, so whatever deleterious effects it's having, it's been happening for fifteen years and Robert Davi is just now getting around to noticing it.

But my favorite part, of course, is that Robert Davi, in his call to revolt against political correctness, uses the construction "f***" once to replace the word "fuck", uses the same construction later on to replace the word "fucking", proving that he doesn't know how asterisks work, and also uses the construction "the other unmentionable N-word" once, although he sets it off against "black", which is not an unmentionable "N-word", so why the word "other" is there is a question you'll have to ask Davi's grade school teachers.

If the reason you can't say these things is political correctness, and you're calling for a revolution against political correctness, not saying those things makes you a huge f*** coward. Everyone! We must fight back against being told what to say! You first! I don't wanna get yelled at! Truly a stirring moment in American wingnuttery.

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