Election 2008

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Eight A Dick

« October 2008 »

Memo to anti-gay Californians and outsiders: YOU ARE DUMB.

It's indicative of the insanity we're surrounded by every second of this election year that I haven't even mentioned Proposition 8 yet. Known colloquially as the Make Sulu Sad Act of 2008, Proposition 8 is a ballot initiative in California that "Changes the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California (and) provides that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

This amendment differs from the similar amendments passed in Jesusland during the 2004 and 2006 elections in one significant way - it would actually walk back the legalization of gay marriage in California that, since a court ruling back in May, has allowed hundreds of gay couples to have their long-term commitments recognized by the state just like straight couples. Including George Takei and his husband.

Note that over the summer, California did not sink into the ocean. Men did not marry dogs. Like Massachusetts and Connecticut and Canada and various European countries, civilization has not in fact come crashing to a halt. Well, at least not because of the gays. But that hasn't stopped the usual collection of idiots from lining up to enshrine their completely gratuitous bigotry into the law of the land. Some of the most egregious examples of fuckwits supporting Proposition 8 (which you should of course vote NO on if you live in California, and tell everyone you know in California to vote NO on if you don't):

MORMONS!: Yes, everyone's favorite anti-ninjas, the Church of Jesus Christ of What The Fuck Is Their Problem, has been pouring money into California to stop gay marriage. Even though most of them live in Utah, which I predict will be the last state in the Union to have legal gay marriage, right after Tennessee, possibly before the sun grows cold.

According to the Salt Lake City Tribune, who should know, this is the most politically active Mormons have gotten since their successful fight against the Equal Rights Amendment, which should help you home in on what backwards fucks most Mormons are. Apparently, the anti-gay fervor amongst the Magic Underpants Faithful has gay Mormons feeling upset and unwelcome. Well, folks, remember that when choosing between homosexuality and Mormonitude, only one of those is actually genetic. When Election Day passes, whether Prop 8 passes or is shot down, all those other people in your church will still hate you. They'll just go back to doing it quietly.

ProtectMarriage.com: Apparently, the garden-variety fuckwitter of gay marriage opponents wasn't enough for the coalition of bigots behind ProtectMarriage.com. They got a list of companies that donated money to a sane group, Equality America, and sent them a certified letter including the following. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"Make a donation of a like amount to ProtectMarriage.com which will help us correct this error. Were you to elect not to donate comparably, it would be a clear indication that you are in opposition to traditional marriage. ... The names of any companies and organizations that choose not to donate in like manner to ProtectMarriage.com but have given to Equality California will be published."

In for a penny, in for a pound, I guess. When you're treating an entire group of people as second-class citizens because you disapprove of their biological makeup, what's a little blackmail and extortion? Just a bit of extra oomph to the cause, really. I'm not sure why they think the ploy would work. I mean, presumably, if the fuckwits at ProtectMarriage could get the list, then anyone can. And if they're donating to Equality America, then clearly they're telling "traditional" marriage it can fuck right off and die a long overdue death. Well, maybe not in so many words. Well, except Apple, which I'm pretty sure said something almost exactly to that effect.

It just makes the Yes On 8 crowd look like petty, small-minded thugs. You know, like a mirror does.

CLAY MUSIC MINISTRIES: - I don't know who these bastards are, but they've managed to singlehandedly break new ground in anti-gay ick. And how did they do it? By making an ad in which two seven-year-old children sing a tender homophobic ditty to the tune of "This Old Man". I can't make out all the lyrics, presumably because the kids are home-schooled. But they end with the couplet "If my dad is a woman or my mom is a man / Yes on Proposition 8", which doesn't even rhyme.

Also, I don't remember a single news story about the California court decision that mentions sex-change operations for existing, heterosexual parents. So unless Clay Music snatched up a couple of foster kids from the state, there's no way these adorable moppets could end up with a dad who's a woman. OK, that's not fair. I'm sure the seven-year-olds were trying to dumb down the argument enough that the pro-Prop-8 people could understand it.

Prop 8 needs to fail, and fail hard. If there are enough bigots in California to enact a constitutional amendment there, then it's going to take a hell of a lot longer than I thought for us to reach the inevitable future we're heading toward, whether the Mormons, the bigots, or the insane child-warping musical ministries like it or not.

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