You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for most Tuesdays and the occasional fuckbotch. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. For a take on what a blog by me would be like, check out OLDNERD.
Memo to terrorists and assholes: YOU ARE DUMB.
So, with the attack on the French satire magazine by, at least of the time of this writing, people angry about the magazine's cartoons of Mohammed, I guess it's time to remind everyone of the official You Are Dumb Dot Net policy on religion:
If you truly believe that your God or Gods will like you better as a result of fucking up someone else's day, there is something wrong with you, your particular sub-brand of religion, or, most likely, both.
This rule covers a lot of ground, and shooting people for making fun of your religion is certainly part of that ground. But there's not much else to say about it, because almost everybody believes that shooting people over cartoons is wrong. Not quite enough people, but certainly a vast majority of them. Otherwise, the Family Circus would have ended tragically decades ago.
It remains to be seen who the attackers were and what their affiliations, if any, were, but it's important to remember that even though every cable news channel is devoting every waking second to this story, somehow, almost none of what they say will end up being accurate.
In the interests of being accurate, as we move forward, I think it's very important to remind people that when folks like Ted Cruz say things like the thing Ted Cruz said that I'm about to quote, they're technically correct and disingenuous hypocrites in context. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!
“The First Amendment is designed to ensure a robust debate and refusing to publish the cartoons that are the alleged reason for this brutal act of murder and terror is inconsistent with the spirit of a free debate."
This is true. And I'm sure Ted Cruz believes it about these cartoons, because these cartoons are insulting to Muslims. Ask Ted Cruz how consistent, say, the presence of a Satanic monument on the same public steps as a Ten Commandments monument is to the spirit of a free debate, and you'll get a very different answer.
It's easy to approve of offending other people, especially if you already don't like them, like North Korea and Muslims. It's easy for me to enjoy anything that offends Ted Cruz. It's a lot tougher to judge the merits of something that hits you where you live, and try to discount the fact that it's kicking one of your sacred cows right in the goddamn udders.
Not, you know, difficult enough to warrant mass murder. But also not so difficult that maybe the Ted Cruzes of the world shouldn't try it sometime.