Fundamental Inability to Sense Assholery

« August 2007 »

Memo to sixteen Democratic senators and forty-one of their House compatriots: YOU ARE DUMB.

I don't get it. I just don't get it. If it spends six years walking like a duck, and six years quacking like a duck, then the odds are pretty good that what you're dealing with here is anas platyrhynchos platyrhynchos. Or at least SOME kind of huge anas.

I'm not sure how it can be any clearer. President Bush is your enemy. Not because he's a Republican and you're Democrats, although that doesn't help. And not because he's George W. Bush and you're supposed to automatically oppose anything he suggests, although, again, given the track record, it's probably a smart play.

No, he's your enemy because he's spent six fucking years ACTING LIKE YOUR ENEMY. He has never compromised, never given in, never even recognized that you have a role beyond doing what he says or shutting the fuck up.

I mean, this is obvious to ME, and I'm just an interested third party. You must know. You're right there in the thick of it. You're having your subpoenas ignored. You're having your investigations stonewalled. You're having your perfectly reasonable laws vetoed at a record-setting pace. You have to be aware, on some level, that this son of a bitch hates your guts and will do everything in his power to make you look bad. Or can you not see the forest due to having your head repeatedly slammed into a tree?

Now, when someone like this asks you for something - a favor, perhaps. A piece of legislation, even. When that request comes in from a complete bastard who's spent six years undermining you at every turn, the correct response is not, I repeat NOT, to fucking well GIVE IT TO HIM. I don't care what it is. I don't care if he wants you to pick up his dry-cleaning on your way back to Capitol Hill. The only appropriate response to someone like this is "Fuck off, chucklehead. Let your bald gay escort reporter friend do it."

And that goes double when what he wants is a law that basically rubs your pasty, white face in the giant pile of illegal cow shit he's been pulling since Day One. When George W. Motherfucking Chimptard Bush asks you if you wouldn't mind drastically expanding his powers for spying on Americans, in what mixed up Bizarro world do SIXTEEN Democratic senators and FORTY ONE Democratic congressmen think this is a great idea and vote for it? For fuck's sake, even Tina left Ike eventually.

You can't even call them whores! Whores may be whores, but at least they're smart enough to get their money up front. It's not like this was part of some kind of deal or agreement. It's not like they got something out of it. They got nothing. They may THINK they got a reprieve from being called terrorist sympathizers, but out of 300 million Americans, only 57 of them apparently don't know how THAT will turn out.

I'm sorry, I don't think it's too much to ask that the Democratic majorities in Congress avoid actively voting for Bush administration power grabs. It's morally wrong, it's politically wrong, it's tactically wrong, and it's intellectually wrong.

And you know, for six years, I've heard a certain subset of Democratic apologists rip into Nader voters for believing, in 2000, that there wasn't a huge difference between the two parties. They point to the Bush abuses, and the war, and they mock our naivete with 20/100 hindsight. But at the end of the day, how vast is the gap between initiating an evil proposal and supporting it out of fear? At best, it's half-vast.