Almost Too Proud To Beg

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NOTE: This is going up as a column because otherwise, the people who read via RSS will never see it. Real column probably tomorrow.

Let me just say right up front that I'm very, very fucking ambivalent about this.

It's not that I don't think what I do here has value. And it's not that I don't think that value can't be expressed with a small amount of cash. It's not false modesty, that's for damn sure.

There's absolutely no reason whatsoever why I shouldn't at least allow for the possibility that, for the past two and a half years, some of you have been reading the column and thinking "Damn, if only I could send that guy a couple of bucks".

Except that it's tacky, and it's not why I started this site.

But I do need to replace my computer unexpectedly. It's something I certainly could muster up the resources to do on my own. It's also inarguably something I could do better, easier, and more effectively with a few -more- resources at my disposal.

So I've decided on an elaborate, transparent, face-saving compromise. I've made it possible for you to send money to me if you see fit, using the "Send YAD Money" link on the left. And now I'm going to try and convince you why you might not see fit.

Do not send me money because you think the column will cease if you don't. The column will continue for as long as I have the drive to write it and the means to post it. Not having a computer in the house for a few weeks is inconvenient as hell, but it ain't insurmountable.

Do not send me money you would otherwise have spent on food, rent, car insurance, cable TV, Internet service, personal debt reduction, taxes, small snack food items, your next hot date, actual charitable giving, or any other of life's necessities. If this happens at all, it happens as a shifting of funds from your disposable income to my disposable income.

Do not send me money because you think I'm making a difference. This isn't a cause, this isn't a crusade. It's one writer yelling and a few hundred readers laughing. Which is a glorious thing for what it is, but no more than that. Sending me money will not make the world a better place. It will make my home a better place.

Do not send me money because there is a threshold beyond which it will become feasible for me to make the switch from Windows to Mac. I'm not saying this isn't true - it is. But I'd feel dirty taking advantage of rabid system advocates.

Do not send me money if I see you in person more than once a month. That'll just be awkward.

So what's left? Only the pure, classic shareware concept. Very old-school. If you want to send a few bucks my way as a thank-you for the entertainment, then I'm not going to stop you. And if you don't, that's fine too. There won't be any ads, there won't be any premium content, there won't be any of that crap. This is not a money-making enterprise.

And no, there will not be an "I Saved Ferniee's Computer" T-Shirt.