You Buy Dubai Do

« February 2006 »

Memo to George W. Bush: PEOPLE ARE DUMB.

And for five years, this has worked to your advantage, dumbass. You've thrown around absolutes and generalities like they were nickels at a whorehouse. You've appealed to the basest, most xenophobic, least rational parts of the American mob mentality as you clawed your way to more and more power.

So pardon me while I revel in it finally biting you on the ass.

This is, of course, about the Great Port Controversy. This is also, of course, an entire column written almost entirely to justify the title, but that's not important right now. What's important is that right now, George W. Bush desperately needs the American public to calm down, think things through, and understand the nuances of a complicated situation involving national security and brown people.

Sweet fuck, it brings a smile to my face to type that.

I'm not saying that it's necessarily a good thing that Dubai Ports World is buying out the British company that controls half a dozen US ports. I'm just saying it's probably not bad for the reason a lot of people are saying it's bad - that Dubai Ports World is full of slavering terrorists just waiting for a chance to set off a dirty shoe bomb down by the docks.

But don't tell anybody. I can say this because I've got a tiny, tiny readership - this is the kind of political issue the left desperately needs. For far too long, we've been the "if you think about it" party. If you think about it, Iraq and Al Qaeda weren't connected. If you think about it, those tax cuts aren't really going to the middle class. If you think about it, any motherfucker who says the Great Flood carved out the Grand Canyon shouldn't be teaching science.

But people don't think about it. So there's no point in making them try in the Dubai Ports case. Just let them get worked up into a racist lather, and see if they actually listen now when another story comes out about a big business with a friend in the Administration (Treasury Secretary John Snow, in this case), bypassing the various regulatory steps and oversight in a sweetheart deal that nets them a big wad of cash.

They've never listened before, but if they're mad enough at the thought of "ay-rabs" controlling our borders, maybe some shit will stick. Dubya spent five years creating the precise brand of mob mentality that's turning on him now, and the proper political strategy is to sit back and make sure there are ample supplies of pitchforks and torches handy.

It takes a village, after all.