On Hate

« January 2006 »

Memo to rightie pundits: YOU ARE DUMB.

If there's one thing I hear over and over again from defenders of this president, it's that anyone who criticizes him is "just a Bush-hater". We just hate Bush, you see. Nothing we say can be taken seriously, because it all stems from irrational hatred of Dubya.

Well, fuck you. I would like to take this moment to speak for all liberals, Democrats, and moderate Republicans for a moment. We don't JUST hate the president. Oh, we hate him. We hate him plenty. But we don't JUST hate him.

We hate him because he has EARNED our hate. We hate him because he is, quite simply, one of the most eminently hate-able figures of modern times. Yes, he really is that bad. I don't care how much he loves his plastic wife and his drunken daughters and his fucking dog. We hate him for his power grab, we hate him for his policies that hurt our friends and families in concrete, tangible ways. And we hate him because he's a dick.

Now, that is the kind of thing that Bill O'Reilly would call a "personal attack". Bill thinks the New York Times is making all kinds of personal attacks on Bush, and that's out of line, but the Times never called him a dick. Even though he is. A huuuuuuuge fucking dick. But it's not a personal attack. It's TAXONOMY. It's not my fault the taxonomy is unflattering. I have no control over Bush's actions, and if those actions mark him as an enormous, smirking human member in a suit, not saying so merely out of politeness is no virtue.

The McCain torture amendment is, in and of itself, irrefutable evidence that George W. Bush is a dick, and worthy of hatred. Allow me to demonstrate.

FACT: Whatever else one might think about John McCain, this much is true. John McCain was a prisoner of war, and John McCain was tortured for information when he was a prisoner of war. The man has first-hand, receiving-end experience of the mistreatment of "enemy combatants".

FACT: Whatever else one might think about McCain's political career, the man at least had the common decency to eventually take a stand against the same thing he himself suffered. He proposed an amendment that would utterly ban prisoner mistreatment by United States personnel. No loopholes, no exceptions, no outs. And he threatened to attach that amendment to every piece of legislation he could until it was signed into law.

FACT: The Bush Administration tried repeatedly to defeat this amendment.

FACT: The Bush Administration was unsuccessful. The amendment passed resoundingly in the House and Senate, and went to the President for his signature.

FACT: George W. Bush signed the bill, complete with the amendment banning torture.

FACT: When signing that bill, George W. Bush did something I, for one, never saw covered on Schoolhouse Rock. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"The executive branch shall construe Title X in Division A of the Act, relating to detainees, in a manner consistent with the constitutional authority of the President to supervise the unitary executive branch and as Commander in Chief and consistent with the constitutional limitations on the judicial power, which will assist in achieving the shared objective of the Congress and the President, evidenced in Title X, of protecting the American people from further terrorist attacks." - Statement written on the bill by George W. Bush along with his signature.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is prima facie evidence of dickhood. He lost the fight on the torture ban. He lost the image fight, he lost the political fight, he lost the vote, he lost. Yet the above is legalese for "Fuck you, I don't have to follow this if I don't wanna, and you can't make me. How does THAT bamboo feel under your fingernails?"

Smug in victory, ingracious in defeat, and claiming ultimate power over you, yours, me, and mine. WHAT'S NOT TO HATE?