Truth Is Just What People Believe

« November 2005 »

Memo to the Chucklehead Crony Squad: YOU ARE DUMB.

Seriously, do you ahve some kind of dependency problem? Is there something psychologically addictive about faulty intelligence? You relied upon faulty intelligence to make the case for Iraq. Everyone knows that now.

You rely on faulty intelligence to keep people scared. It's come out that the "harsh interrogation techniques" so vaunted by this Administration and its vibrator-loving, Oxycontin-chugging cheerleading squad, were pulled from programs designed to help American soldiers resist Soviet interrogation techniques. Techniques the Soviets were using not because they extracted valuable, life-saving information about potential attacks, but because once the "enemy combatant" cracked, he'd admit to anything. The Soviets could then use that admission for propaganda purposes.

Remember that the next time there's a heightened alert level, or Dick Cheney comes by to lobby you.

And now, they're relying on faulty intelligence to blunt Democratic criticism of the steaming pile of bullshit presented to us as the case for Gulf War II: This Time It's Personal. Specifically, the faulty intelligence of the Democrats in Congress.

The current line out of the White House, in case you haven't been paying attention lately, is that it can't have been a lie, because all these Democrats believed it! And now they're flip-flopping. They're voting against the war they voted for. And why not? It worked really well this time last year.

And the worst part of the whole thing is, despite the fact that the Congress didn't have the same intelligence the President has*, they have just enough of a point to gain a little traction here. Because that donkey-raping authorization to use force is STILL biting the Democrats on the ass three years later.

Some of us knew better, but with Congressional elections coming up, and good old nine friggin' eleven still fresh in everyone's mind, the Democrats didn't want to be seen as on the wrong side of the bloodlust. The truth of the matter is, it doesn't matter what intelligence Hillary Clinton saw. The vote in 2001 was based on short-term political reality, and we all knew it.

It helped sink John Kerry, and it's helping the bastards make their case now, because only 23 Democrats had the stones to risk being called a Saddam-sympathizer.

Not that it's not absolutely fucking hilarious to hear Donald Rumsfeld cite the foreign policy acumen of Bill Clinton to try to keep those poll numbers above 35%, it'd just be a lot funnier if it weren't, you know. Effective.

I mean, take Bob Kerrey. Please. Kerrey was on The Colbert Report on Monday. While I watch the show mainly becasue of my fondness for CGI eagles, I also occationally enjoy Colbert's slightly exaggerated satire of the RNC talking point cockgobblers. And Colbert was throwing over-the-top versions of the "Democrats agreed Hussein was a threat" argument up at Kerrey. And Kerrey, one of the leading Democrat hawks, couldn't even handle Colbert's strawman. And Kerrey's not even in office right now.

If you can't cope with someone who's pretending to be an asshole, the actual assholes are going to shred you like cheap cheese. It's a year to the midterms, and a year is forever in politics. Hell, in November 2003, John Kerry was just some dork who rode a motorcycle onto the Leno set, and look where he is now!

*Obvious Joke Relegated To Footnote: And how could they? If they did, there'd be so much fucking drool in Washington DC it'd make New Orleans look like the Sahara Desert.