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You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
My Accountability Moment
First, a note about yesterday's column. After it went up, I was notified by several folks that the Boston Herald is actually a right-wing birdcage liner that nobody takes seriously unless they already spend too much time fellating Grover Norquist. So it's not at all surprising that they'd be pro-God.
Since I have, in the past few weeks, written strongly about the importance of accountability, I'd like to say that to the extent that You Are Dumb Dot Net did not fully investigate the political leanings of Massachussetts area periodicals, I take responsibility.
While this DOES remove one of the structural linchpins from yesterday's argument, the mistake does not affect in the slightest the drive-by shot at Rick Santorum. And since I value funny cheap shots at politicians more than I value fine points of accuracy, I am not sweating it. Plus, now I know what it takes to get you bastards to e-mail me in quantity. A huge glaring fuckup.
And since yesterday, I pounded on conservatives, thinking they were liberals, today I thought I'd pound on liberals the way I usually pound on conservatives. Karmic balance and all that.
But then Mayor Nagin had to come to his senses and ruin it all. I'm glad he did, don't get me wrong. When people stop doing stupid things, the world is a better place. It's just inconvenient when they decide to stop doing them during the hours after my purple prose is penned but before my purple prose is published.
But tonight, Mayer Nagin suspended his boneheaded plan to repopulate New Orleans as soon as possible - before there was drinkable water, before hospitals were back up and running, before another fucking storm might hit the city.
If this had gone badly, everything up to that would have been forgotten. The horse judge, the cronyism, the vacations, the shoes, the guitar, the abandonment of the poor, all of it. And he didn't even have a good reason. ACTUAL NO LONGER APPLICABLE QUOTE TIME!
"We must offer the people of New Orleans every chance for a sense of closure and the opportunity for a new beginning." - Fucking brilliant. That's what we needed. Thousands more New Orleanians dying because of some touchy-feely liberal psychobabble. Nagin better learn from this and get back on the fucking ball, because the instant he makes another mistake, the right is going to break out the gold-plated Blame Monopoly. The one with real Halliburton stock options instead of fake money.
On another note, could the liberals get back off of Bill Clinton's dick now? I thought we were over that. I thought we'd reached a certain comfortable consensus that the Great Triangulator's success came at the price of turning the Democratic Party into the spineless, ideal-free faux-centrist blob it is today.
Two weeks ago, Slick Willie was parroting Bush's lie about the unpredictability of the flooding. Yesterday, he reportedly "tore into" Bush's admittedly psychotic plan to keep cutting taxes while paying for the Gulf cleanup.
Now, I know that he keeps looking better by comparison, but let's not forget that every single thing coming out of Bill Clinton's mouth right now is carefully calculated towards one goal - Hillary in 2008 - and that goal is something we should all be trying to avoid. Bill Clinton is not the future of progressive leadership in this country. He is a politician through and through, whose loyalty lies with his legacy and dynasty first, and the welfare of America at most fourth. Behind cheeseburgers and blowjobs.
Bush-bashing is fun, but Bush-bashing in the service of the Lieberman-aping, Gingrich-cozying, moderate Republican senator from New York currently angling for the nomination isn't something we should be cheering.