Who's Shoving What In Whose Which Again?

« April 2005 »

Let's talk about flaunting for a bit, shall we?

Those of you who tuned into this space last week may have noticed my hatred for a particular argument of ignorant bigot fucks - that homosexuals "flaunt" their "lifestyle", shoving "it" in everyone's "faces".

Now, as far as I can tell, through careful observation in a major metropolitan area, homosexuals are seen to flaunt their deviancy in four ways:

  1. Once a year, having a parade.
  2. Occasional media appearances, i.e. "Will & Grace", "Queer Eye"
  3. Occasionally demanding to be treated the same as straight people
  4. Existing

Now, obviously, on all four counts, we hetero types are flaunting it much more. Just on parades alone, we'd win the flaunt-off. But since the bigots want to call being gay a "lifestyle choice", it wouldn't be fair to compare the flaunting of "normality" to the flaunting of something someone could, allegedly, change. Good thing there's something else these bigots have in common, that they choose, and flaunt, and can change. RELIGION.

Let me state right off the bat that I do not begrudge any group, no matter what size, their decision to flaunt their characteristics in public. Gays, straights, Catholics, Star Wars nerds. anime cosplayers... hell, since I'm feeling magnanimous, I'll even throw furries in there presuming they're complying with all laws and regulations. Fuck it. GO TO TOWN. But have the common decency to recognize your own flaunting, and remember that thing someone wrote about motes, beams, and eyes.

As an admitted card-carrying heretic heathen humanist, I get the advantage of an outsider in seeing how prevalent the signs, symbols, and trappings of religion are stuck out there for the rest of us to see, whether we want to or not. And seriously, you people better fucking hope Team Selfish Hedonism never learns all your tricks. You think you're uncomfortable NOW? If gays flaunted their sexuality as much as the pan-godly flaunted their beliefs, we'd all be watching for puffs of colored smoke to see who won the Tonys this year.

On my way to work, I pass by three churches, a synagogue, and a Christian Science Reading Room. The three churches each occupy between one half, and one full, CITY BLOCK. During that same trip, to the best of my knowledge, I pass by a single establishment that could be said to cater specifically to the gay community. It's tucked, discreetly, in the corner of one strip mall, and I only know it's there because I used to hit the take-out Vietnamese place next door a lot. I'm not saying "tear down the cathedrals", but I am saying that when you've got a hundred-foot spire thrusting into the air proclaiming your love of Jesus, "flaunt" is not a word you should fling around.

And these are NICE churches. Historic ones. Artful ones. Architecturally interesting ones. Not the suburban, tricked out, Cosmic Bowling churches with the giant, illuminated crosses on the front lawn I drive past from time to time. The day I see a twenty foot tall pink triangle glowing from within on my way to Best Buy, I will consider admitting that the GLBT community is making some headway.

Gays do not have six-hour network miniseries made based on their books unless they're Gore Vidal, and that doesn't count. Gays have ONE cable channel. Two if you count "Bravo", which I don't. Gays do not have a city which gets to be its own sovereign nation, no matter how much Gavin Newsom wishes it were otherwise. Not being gay is a huge benefit when running for office. Not being religious is a huge detriment.

And you know why that is? Because, to invert an old saying, you can only flaunt it IF YOU GOT IT. And somehow, despite not being around quite as long as homosexuality, religion got it. And that's fine. That's dandy. But maybe we could let he who is without flaunt cast the first fucking stone.