The Enemy: A Refresher Course

« April 2005 »

Memo to the enemy: YOU ARE DUMB.

I have, in this space, in the past, railed against the Internet for letting people express their opinions, because most people's opniions aren't worth the fucking packets it takes to transmit them. But it does, occasionally, serve as a reminder of who the enemy is. Who the regressive, backwater, suburban, red-state, bigoted, ignorant fucks are who live among us. Today is devoted to some of them.

Yesterday, I talked about the "Day of Truth", during which homophobic right-wing Christians utilize their freedom to speak their hateful wrongness as a "response" to a Day of Silence that protests discrimination against homosexuals. One of my sources was a news story posted to an education blog. And like all blogs, this blog had the inevitable useless string of responses beneath it. I will now quote liberally from those responses, in case you're wondering if we've made any fucking progress at all in the past decade. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"I don?t want my child coming home to me one day asking if it is okay for her to have a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend. The answer to that question in my household will forever be HLL NO!!!" - "Shauna", who is ugly and dead inside, and thinks leaving the "e" out of "hell" makes her a better person.

"Nobody else walks around advertising whom they choose to sleep with, so I don?t get why the gay community seems to be OBSESSED with advertising it to everyone else." - "smithy", who is unaware that this insipid, ignorant viewpoint has been countered by rational, reasoned argument for at least two decades. See how well that works on these fucks? Smithy will die alone.

"Gays and lesbians aren?t hated by the hetero community. We (speaking for a bulk of the heteros) just don?t like having your warped sexual views pushed in our face. Homosexuality is a sin. Hannah you can think what you want. But you?re wrong. I don?t hate you. But keep your lifestyle and perverted actions in your closet and don?t try to get my kids to think that you?re just fine in society?s eyes. I don?t think you are. And the majority of school parents are like me." - "Griffin", who apparently thinks that calling people "perverted", "wrong in society's eyes", "warped", and telling them to stay in the closet isn't hating them. So, I guess when I call Griffin a twisted knot of misplaced righteousness who couldn't find his own brain with three MRI's and a long Q-Tip, I could be said to "not hate him". And, in fact, I don't hate him to the exact same degree that he doesn't hate gay people.

"And another thing, I will home school my children before I ever allow anyone teach teach them that the homosexual lifestyle is normal." - "Common Sense". Go ahead, home-school your brats, Sense. But you better take some time out from the year-long curriculum of "buttsex is icky" to throw in a unit on counting. Because when your home-schooled little darling grows up, he'd FUCKING WELL BETTER GET MY ORDER RIGHT. If being gay is a sin, shorting me a Taco Supreme is a war crime.

"I will never understand the gay/lesbian mind frame. I refuse to think about how they are affectionate with each other or how they relate to one another on a personal level. Not only do I not agree with it, I don?t want it spoken about in my home." - Shauna, who, in case I didn't mention it, is ugly and dead inside. And saying you're "refusing" to think is like me saying I'm "refusing" to do a backflip over a twenty foot fence.

"People can say what they want they can try to pin point past history and say that so and so was gay but in actuality it will never be proper until someone is stupid enough to try and change the bible. You want to be schooled and educated then you need to read up on sins and what the bible says about homosexuality. Yes God tells us not to judge and be bias but then again read what He says about homosexuality." - Britt, whose last sentence tells us everything we need to know about her. Every life has value, but some lives only have value as mulch.

"Plus just because we don?t agree with homos doesn?t make us a ?homophobe?. Believe me - I?m not phobed of homos. Just don?t like their thing and don?t want it integrated into the public schools. You?re not gonna make it any better by quoting scripture. You know what your destiny will be. God bless you anyway." - Griffin again, making sure to reinforce how little he hates Team Selfish Hedonism by calling them "homos" at every opportunity. Also, for the record, I fucking despise that thing that fundies do, that plausible deniability "hate the sin, love the sinner" bullshit where they go on for paragraphs about how you're twisted and wrong and going to hell and perverted and need to stay away from decent people, but "God bless you anyway!" FUCK YOU. We know where you stand. Last-minute conversions may work in your religion, but they don't work in PARAGRAPHS. Unlike, apparently, your version of God, we can look at the whole picture and see what you really are. An asshole. The enemy.