Thinking About Baseball

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Memo to tax cuts, racist baseball fans, and sexual harassment: YOU ARE DUMB.

As President Garbage leaves the country, wearing his shock collar and pumped full of Xanax to avoid causing a diplomatic incident in every single Asian nation he visits, we look around at the wasteland he leaves behind and will return to on SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!

As much as I love the spirit of occasionally effectual, constant, direct action that’s arisen in the wake of our long national nightmare, I can’t imagine it’ll do a fucking thing about the Republican tax cuts, because they’re Republicans, and these are tax cuts.

Tax cuts for rich people they pretend will help the middle class and “small businesses” when they actually do the exact opposite is what you get when you put Republicans in power. This isn’t a Trump thing. This is a “congressional elections have consequences” thing. Would it be great if the voting public learned this? Sure. But they’ve had nearly 40 years, minimum, to figure this out, and they haven’t, so there you go. I’d love to get worked up about it, but, you know, they’re detaining 10-year-old girls fresh out of cerebral palsy surgery and keeping them from their parents because they’re undocumented.


Congratulations to the Houston Astros for their World Series win, a fact that I only know because Houston Astros fans spent their World Series giving a standing ovation to Yuli Gurriel. Not because Gurriel was their favorite player or was particularly good, but to support him over an incredibly mild five-game NEXT SEASON suspension for making a “slant-eye” gesture at Dodgers’ pitcher Yu Darvish (Japanese-American) and mouthing “Chinito” (Little China-man) at him in Spanish.

My issue isn’t with Gurriel, who apologized and took his suspension and seemed to at least act like he’d learned something from it. My issue is with the fucking culture in this country where apparently every fucking thing, no matter how wrong or evil, has to go tribal. Gurriel got in trouble for being racist, which means political correctness has run amok, which means Major League Baseball are all meanies, which means Houston has to give him a standing ovation to tell him it’s OK that he was racist even though those liberal baseball owners think different. A message Gurriel has, thankfully, seemed to ignore.So fuck you Houston fans.


I haven’t said anythings about the recent spate of powerful men being finally taken down a few pegs after decades of sexual harassment and assault because my take on it is largely superfluous and unnecessary. I mean, I did enjoy the entire LGBT community pelting Kevin Spacey with rotten eggs after he tried to get sympathy for his alleged predatory behavior by (finally) coming out as gay., because there’s something wonderful about a bit of bullshit being unanimously shouted down.

But I will mention this. If you’ve benefited from a system that, since its very inception, has had as its goal giving an entire gender a case of Stockholm Syndrome, for the sole reason, as far as I can tell, of making it possible for unfuckable assholes to get laid? You don’t get to judge how any woman reacted to this shit in the past, now, or in the future. The system continues to work only for the powerful. Putting your life and career and reputation in the hands of an unfair system when you’re not one of the powerful is dangerous as hell. Deciding not to go through that is perfectly fucking reasonable. Fuck you and the fedora you rode in under.