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Memo to Keith Olbermann and Donald Trump: NEITHER OF YOU ARE HELPING, ALBEIT TO DIFFERENT DEGREES.

A long one and a short one today, because for a change, the tweet I can’t stop thinking about isn’t from the president. The horrible action I can’t get out of my head is from the president, of course, because what else is there? SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!

I’ve been obsessed with this Keith Olbermann tweet for days. ACTUAL TWEET TIME! (NOTE: Because, unlike Olbermann, I respect my audience, I left off the emojis and hashtags.)

”After 27 years of doubts about rap I am now an @Eminem fan. Best political writing of the year, period.”

This is why people of color are right not to trust white liberals as allies. Olbermann suddenly discovers one white rapper being mean to Trump and all his “doubts” about his weird monolithic view of “rap” are expunged? Fuck you. The history of politics and hip-hop is so obvious that two different white people on Twitter told me about Public Enemy when they somehow missed my sarcasm on the Eminem thing. In other words, you have no fucking excuse.

Also, “27 years”? That’s weirdly specific. That’s eleven years fewer than the commonly accepted age of hip hop. Which means one of two things. Either Keith Olbermann doesn’t know how old hip hop is, or, and this is disturbingly more likely, Keith Olbermann remembers exactly how long he hasn’t liked rap. Which is fucking weird.

And “best political writing of the year”? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it happened, and there are a few cultural signifiers that made it important. I’m not trying to shit on Eminem here. But the actual content? It was pretty good. The fawning praise from Olbermann, though, falls in that weird liberal category of “that man said a mean thing about someone I don’t like, he’s the BEST EVER”. This is especially odd since the same thing happened TO KEITH OLBERMANN when he talked shit about Dubya. You’d think he’d recognize it from the other end.


Speaking of saying mean shit about Trump. You know how everything he does is clearly the result of a toddler negotiation? How our government is currently operating on the basis of “if you eat your peas you get half an hour of screen time”, only instead of peas it’s “read a script off the teleprompter” and instead of “half an hour of screen time” it’s “half an hour of screen time”?

Well, it turns out that the execrable hurling of paper towels at Puerto Ricans was also a compromise position. According to reports, Trump wanted to throw CANS OF CHICKEN at them but, in classic Art of the Deal style, was negotiated down to something that was demeaning but wouldn’t also cause bodily harm. Which, if you think about it, is pretty much the entire story of this “adult day care” of a presidency, as a shithead said and then got a bunch of credit for saying because it was mean to Trump.