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« March 2017 »

Memo to Internet Trumpites, Mike Pence, and Russia deniers: YOU ARE DUMB.

Been a while since I've had an opportunity to do one of these. Long overdue. SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!

Congress and Trump just sold your internet privacy to the highest bidder, because they're shitty people. And that's bad news. But this bad news does have a silver lining. You're probably boring. You're probably not a racist, a Nazi, a troll, a rape apologist, or some combination of the four. And since you're not all those things, you can't possibly spend all your time on the Internet being those things, say, on Reddit. Which means that's not part of your internet history that just became available to the highest bidder.

But those people do exist. And this sucks super hard for them. And damn near every last one of these jackholes loved Donald Trump until this happened. And they're angry. And as they have demonstrated in the past, they don't handle anger well. Sure, none of this is great, but any time Trump's awful policy can specifically hurt Trumpite asshats more than the average person, we can at least smile about it a little.

Mike Pence is a fucking weirdo. You know how you can tell, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he's a fucking weirdo? Because when a piece of news comes out that paints him as a complete fucking weirdo, a bunch of people on the right try to pretend he's normal. For example, this week, it was revealed that Pence won't attend events without his wife if booze is being served there, and he won't have a meal with a woman if his wife's not there. This is the wife, I must remind you, he repeatedly calls "Mother". He's a fucking weirdo.

This led to a few of the leading intellectual lights on the right to wonder what kind of weirdo married man DOESN'T avoid the presence of booze and women without his wife there to remind him he's not supposed to drink and stick his dick in things. The answer, of course, would be normal, mentally healthy men, so either your Erick Ericksons and your Matt "Not The UCB One" Walshes of the world know this and are covering for Pence because he might be president in six months, or they're also fucking weirdos.

And since we're on the topic of the potentially imminent collapse of the Trump administration, I don't think I've ever actually laid out my views on the Russia thing - what Trump and his people are actually guilty of here. And the key to it all is to remember one thing - Trump is a stupid opportunist who has surrounded himself with other stupid opportunists.

So there's no way Trump's collusion with Russia was intentional treason, because very little of what they've done has been intentional, even the stuff that's worked. Instead, what you have is a bunch of people with connections and no morals realizing Putin, in his vendetta against Hillary Clinton, was scratching Trump's back, and so Trump had his team scratch back. All unsavory, all likely illegal, all very damaging, just not the "Trump's gonna turn America over to Putin" stuff you sometimes hear semi-jokingly. At least, that's my read on it. But if I'm wrong, I can only be wrong by the connection being even worse, because there's a ton of bumblefuck coverup going on.