Quite The Weekend

« February 2017 »

Memo to Ted Cruz, Fake Boycotters, and Protest Conspiracy Theorists: YOU'RE STILL DUMB, MOTHERFUCKERS.

It's been a busy weekend in Trumpland, and while all of it's been disturbing, troubling, and hilariously incompetent in various ways, the relative pace of actual destructive horribleness continues to slow relative to the relatively earlier days of Prince Dipshit and his Would Totally Be A Junta If Junta Weren't A Mexican Word. I mean, we still have a bunch of trigger-happy ICE thugs grabbing every brown person they can now that they've been let off the leash, and that sucks, but we take what we can get.

And what we got was CPAC, a.k.a. ComicCon for Sociopaths. Or ComicCon for Sociopaths That Don't Like Pop Culture, at least. There were two big items of note at the event. The first involves everyone's favorite racist bloated corpse and the cable access Dick Cheney to Trump's "filming himself in a mirror" Dubya, Steve Bannon.

Bannon made a rare appearance in which he stated his political philosophy of "economic nationalism" and described his goal of "deconstruction of the administrative state". Astute readers will notice what he did there. He replaced the word "white" with the word "economic" to make it sound better, and added the word "administrative" to his previously-stated Leninist goal of destroying the state, also to make it sound better. This... worked? It's tough to tell because the news cycle is like 20 minutes long these days.

The other thing that happened is that a bunch of dummies briefly waved a bunch of Russian flags with the word Trump written on them because a not-dummy thought it would be funny to see if the dummies fell for it and the dummies did until a slightly less-dummy staffer realized what was going on and took all the Russian flags away from the dummies.

It's important to know this, because this level of pure, unmitigated dumdum is fucking hilarious. They're in thrall to a Russian puppet and don't even know what the Russian flag looks like. It was red, white, and blue, and that was good enough for them! Fuckin' dumdums.

Speaking of Russia, Trump went to war with the press again because the press keeps getting hold of pieces of the Trump Is A Russian Puppet story. So Spicy Boy had an informal version of his Crazy Talk Briefings and didn't invite all the kids to the party, which of course led to everyone remembering Spicy Boy's comment back in December that no way would Trump ban specific news outlets because that's what dictators do. Because, again, they are very, very bad at this.

And now Trump's not going to the White House Correspondents' DInner. Now, I hate the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Hated it for years. Hated it because it's been the ultimate symbol of modern access journalism, where the Fourth Estate and the Other Three Estates had to be nice to each other no matter what or they wouldn't get to go to all the nice parties together.

But that's the side my problem's always been on. Not on the President showing up side. And we know why Donnie's not going. They're going to be mean to him, and the last time he tried to do comedy, late in the campaign, it was the kind of universally recognized unmitigated disaster that let you tell who the die-hard, no-matter-what supporters were because they were pretending not to recognize it. He's skipping the dinner because under the best of circumstances, it would have been a yewge embarrassment for him, and he's spent the past month creating the worst of circumstances.

It's a staggering pile of incompetence, and I didn't even get to Spicy Boy's phone antics or the petty-as-fuck DNC election tweet. But we do what we can.