Paint Your Wagon Into A Corner

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Memo to Donald Trump, Donald Trump, and Kelly Ayotte: GODDAMN.

As wagon metaphors go, Donald Trump is everything bad that can possibly happen to a wagon and the people in it, only instead of dysentary, there's Super Triple Dysentery. Who would hitch themselves to such a wagon? People who don't mind getting sprayed in the face by Super Triple Dysentery on a regular basis for money or attention or, I guess, a sense of ideological simpatico? They are definitely IDIOTS who SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS.

“Donald Trump is running for president because he really, truly believes he can turn the country around. More importantly, every critic, every detractor will have to bow down to President Trump." - Omarosa Manigault, in an upcoming PBS documentary about the election.

Now, of all of Trump's supporters, I blame Omarosa the least. For a dozen years, the only reason anyone has paid attention to her has been because she's associated with Donald Trump. If she'd opposed Donald Trump for any one of the literally thousands of possible reasons to oppose him, we'd have heard from her for five minutes on MSNBC in like June, and that would have been it, and then where would she be? Wherever she is between Apprentice stints, reality show nostalgia clip shows, and this campaign, I guess.

As for her actual claim, well, does it really surprise anyone? Trump fancies himself a tin-pot dictator who can't go a few days on Twitter without whining at someone for some perceived slight or other. Oh, I'm sorry, he calls that "counterpunching" because it makes social media insults seem totally manly and not pathetic at all. What do you think he's going to do if he gets some power? Whatever he can to whoever he thinks has wronged him. Duh.

"What’s new are the other reports of the observations of Hillary Clinton’s behavior and mannerisms, her dysphasia, the fact that she’s fallen, she has had a concussion.” - Trump spokeswoman--and seriously, what the fuck is going on in your head that lets you do that job--Katrina Pierson.

This hasn't come up yet here on YAD, and this is as good a venue as any to address it. The usual gang of far-right idiots have spent a couple years "analyzing" pictures and video to "prove" that Hillary Clinton is an addled, brain-damaged old lady. As an example of the stunning detective work and indifference to reality, they are all convinced that a flashlight being put in the pocket of a Secret Service agent is actually an AUTOINJECTOR FULL OF DIAZEPAM. You know, for the seizures they've all convinced themselves she's having.

And like any far-right conspiracy theories, this one has been hinted at and alluded to by Trump at various points, including claiming Hillary doesn't have the "physical stamina" to confront America's enemies, because I guess you have to be really strong to say "Hey, can we drop some bombs over there?" And like every allusion to a right-wing conspiracy from Trump, it has to be explained, rationalized, and made to seem like a perfectly normal part of a presidential campaign by people like Pierson who then, I guess, sleeps at night? Possibly with the help of an autoinjector full of Diazepam?

"I was trying to say Hillary Clinton. It was a stumble of the tongue. Good grief." - Former Arizona governor and current garden-variety crazy person we have to listen to I guess because she used to be the governor for Arizona Jan Brewer.

Jan Brewer's tongue stumble led to her 'mispronouncing' Hillary Clinton as "Lying Killer" on right-wing talk radio, because that's where we are now, I guess. Oh, wait. This is Hillary Clinton we're talking about. This has been going on since the mid-90s. Long enough for it to be considered acceptable behavior, I guess.

That said, it should alarm you slightly that the level of our discourse and the competence of our recent slates of elected officials have both reached such a low point that an excuse that is demonstrably worse than the "I got something in my throat" excuse for pretending to cough while saying "bullshit" is the go-to excuse for a former governor. I mean, what's next? Brewer telling Buzzfeed she legitimately needed Mike Hunt to come to the front desk of a Wal-Mart? That she really does know an Imogene Patricia Freely? No. Neither of those things are next, because they are too clever for her by half.