Trump Trump Trek

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Memo to Trump surrogates, Donald Trump, and diversity-hating Trekkies: YOU ARE DUMB.

We do what we can, and when we can't, we do what we must. You get 67% Trumpage in this week's SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY, and I think we'll all agree that after this week, I've acted with noteworthy and admirable restraint.

I've been watching too many Trump surrogates on cable lately. Which, I know, means I've been watching at least one. They are quite the assortment of dipshits. But lately, they've been given a talking point of some interest - asking the press why they spend time covering Donald Trump's insane ravings when they could be covering Hillary Clinton's horrible e-mail revelations. This is, of course, disingenuous. They're not mad because the media isn't covering Hillary's scandals, they're mad because the scandals are gaining no traction.

That's not the media's fault. That's classic Hillary Derangement Syndrome. It's conflating the results you think should happen as the result of coverage with the amount of coverage. And the gap there is a result of you pretending that the worst things the e-mails demonstrate are SMOKING GUNS SHOWING THE WORSTEST THING EVER. They're not. They're not great, but that's what you fucking get for nominating a black hole of impulse control instead of a monster who can pretend he's people, like a Jeb or a Ted. Simple horrible things are going to propagate farther in the news than complicated, morally dubious at best things. Even Fox can't shake this fact.


One of the all-time great moments in Gotcha Politics happened this week, and you might have missed it between Second Amendment People, crazy suction cup climbers, and Obama being outed as the founder of ISIS. At one point this week, at a Hillary Clinton rally, people spotted the father of the Orlando shooter in the crowd behind Hillary. For a little while, this was played up as another Horrible Hillary thing, where she totally invited the man responsible for the man responsible for the Orlando massacre, a radical Muslim, to her rally. Trump himself brought it up later, saying there was no way that guy could have gotten behind the candidate without the campaigns's approval.

And at the rally where he was saying that, WHILE HE WAS SAYING THAT, there on camera was disgraced former Florida congressman Mark Foley, who had to resign from Congress after it was revealed that he was trying to have sex with underage boys. And for some reason, nobody in Trumpland talked about Seddique Mateen anymore. The Trump campaign is to campaigning what the Keystone Kops and the Baltimore PD are to policing.


And finally, if you're mad that the new Star Trek series from Bryan Fuller, Star Trek: Discovery, will have a female lead and gay characters in it, you're a very bad Star Trek fan. There's no other way around it. I mean, the people who got mad about the black people and women being at the front of the new Star Wars movie were horrible people, but they weren't really bad Star Wars fans, because Star Wars up until that point had been a playground for straight white dudes.

But Star Trek? Star Trek has spent it's entire history as a testament to the most awkward majoritysplaining of every single era it was made in. From Frank Gorshim metaphors to an interracial kiss that was the result of alien mind control in the 60s, to the weird Empowered Biological Determinism of the 80s, where women were equal to men but still relegated to caretaking and feelings, to the leather-clad lipstick lesbians of the 90s, to the Objectification Is OK If Male Liberal Feminists Wink At It of the Abrams era. The Vulcan credo of IDIC may as well stand for It's Diverse, It's Clumsy. That's what Star Trek has always been. At least this time the show's being run by a gay dude.