Super Ultra Ref Working II: Hyper Wanking Edition

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Memo to Paul Manafort, Donald Trump, and Donald Trump: KEEP TELLING YOURSELVES THAT.

Republicans have been "working the refs" since the days of Reagan. When reality interferes with your worldview, discredit reality. From the "liberal media bias" canard to global warming skepticism to Unskewed Polls to Karl Rove having his own math, it's a time-honored tradition that, like many time-honored political traditions, Donald Trump is wielding like a caveman's club. And the caveman is riding a bull. And the bull is tearing through all the china shops. IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

“People don't feel safe in their neighborhoods. I'm not sure what statistics you're talking about. The FBI is certainly suspect these days after what they just did with Hillary Clinton." - Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort, casting doubt on FBI crime statistics.

See, here's what happened. One of the central themes of the Republican National Convention was that we will all be murdered in our homes by gangs of roving Negroes chanting "Black Lives Matter" unless the Muslims get to us first, and that the eight years of Obama's leadership have made this far more likely, because he's closely allied with both groups. I mean "weak leadership". Yeah, that's it.

So the news media, being a bunch of liberal leftists, pointed out that according to FBI crime statistics, those things are actually less likely now than they were eight years ago, and that violent crime overall is down. And when reality conflicts with your worldview? Reject reality and substitute bullshit, to paraphrase Adam Savage. Remember when the Obama administration was totally faking the unemployment stats to get re-elected? Well, now the FBI has been faking crime stats for decades.

"Hey, maybe they’re a Hillary person. Could that be possible? Probably. I don’t think there are too many of them.” - Donald Trump, a totally sane and rational human being.

The "they" in question were the fire marshals in Columbus, Ohio. And how did these insidious political operatives exert undue influence on Donald Trump? By only letting 1,000 people into a building who's capacity, by order of the fire marshal, is 1,000 people. Trump was incensed, because he totally knew you could fit more than a thousand people in the hall he was in, much less the building.

Now, Donald Trump doesn't know a lot of shit. A whole lot of shit. But the man ostensibly built casinos and hotels for a living, so you'd think, at some point, he'd have come across the idea that the legal capacity isn't about how many people fit, it's about how many people can get out safely if the building catches on fire. Which is why fire marshals are the ones who get to decide what the capacity is. But hey, reality conflicted with his worldview, so boom, the fire marshals are secret Clinton operatives. Why not?

"If the election is rigged, I would not be surprised. The voter ID situation has turned out to be a very unfair development. We may have people vote 10 times.” - Donald Trump, working the ultimate ref.

From a purely technical standpoint, we JUST STARTED the presidential campaign. I mean, yeah, it's been going on for a fucking year, but with the nominations comes the official start of the proper campaign. And in and amongst the various things Donald Trump is saying that will lose him the election, he's saying things that will make sure his supporters know it's not his fault. It's totally the fault of black people.

Because, of course, Voter ID means stopping black people from voting. We just had a landmark court case that revealed that North Carolina's voter "integrity" laws took research on what things help black people vote, and then cut back on all those things. On purpose. Because racism. But hey, if the election results conflict with your worldview that you're totally awesome, and that the margins you win Republican primaries by should somehow translate automatically to general election margins, the election must be rigged! Can't see how convincing a bunch of insane idiots of that fact would go badly at all.