The Punchline

« March 2016 »

Memo to Donovan Sharpe: THANK YOU FOR THE PUNCHLINE.

The joy of Men's Rights Monday is not reading the views of Men's Rights activists. I would compare them to walking, talking, 200-pound piles of bullshit, but a 200-pound pile of bullshit might, with a little effort, eventually lead to some growth, and thus, are actually better than a Men's Rights Moron.

No, the joy of Men's Rights Monday is the punchline. The inevitable consequence of the deadly combination of a complete lack of self-awareness and an utter inability to just shut the fuck up is that you don't even need to give them enough rope. You just have to wait for them write enough rope to trip themselves up.

And so it is with Donovan Sharpe. His writer bio is both hilariously awful on its own and relevant to the discussion, so of course I'll provide it for you. ACTUAL BIO TIME!

"Donovan is a sexist son of a bitch who objectifies women by keeping them on their toes, their backs, and their knees where they belong. He contributes whenever time permits. Between columns, he can occasionally be found on Twitter."

Aw, widdums. You're adorable. Sharpe doesn't realize that trying that hard, that unsubtly, to be intentionally provocative just proves how desperate you are for attention. Well, congratulations. You've been noticed.

Sharpe is the author of "5 More Reasons I No Longer Date Black Women". And yes, I did check out the original five reasons, and it's a good thing he wrote "5 More", because the original five were so banal and petty they'd have never made the YAD cut. Quick summary. They love brand names, they're sluts, they have kids, they're fat, and they're not feminine enough. Come on. All that has going for it are the internal contradictions, and you don't need me for that.

"5 More", on the other hand, starts with the laughable claim that Sharpe has received vast quantities of hate mail from black women who (a) read his article and (b) notified him of their objections. A little Googling turned up zero evidence that his article had spread far enough to engender any kind of significant outrage. Did he get angry e-mails? Well, since two angry e-mails would be enough to justify the plural, I'm hesitant to say "no", but I'm confident saying he didn't get enough to justify calling them out at the beginning and "answering their concerns" at the end of his followup article.

I suspect that's why the first four of the "5 More Reasons" are attempts at being even more deliberately provocative. Someone didn't get as much attention as he thought he would, so he jumps right in with "they are not submissive', claims they can't get white men, "they don't give head", and "they don't know their place". All of these can be safely dismissed as the kind of thing he's decided will make people upset, so he'll say them, because that's what garbage people think is clever.

The punchline comes with the final reason why he will no longer date black women. Just let this roll itself around in your brain for a bit. Savor it like you would a fine w(h)ine. Ready?

"Their expectations are WAY too high"

Yes, black women want their men to have money and a nice body. Not only is there the clear implication that Sharpe cannot meet those expectations, there's the glorious irony that someone who spent thousands of words laying out ten ridiculous, occasionally contradictory expectations for women has a problem with high expectations. Oh, Men's Rights dudes, here's the only expectation you won't struggle to meet. Don't ever change.