Both Sides Of Bill

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Memo to Bill Clinton, Ben Carson, and Marco Rubio: YOU ARE DUMB.

Awfulness! Republican presidential candidates are chock full of it, (and just regular full of it), as you know if you've been paying any attention to IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS recently. But awfulness takes many forms, and while both sides are by no means equally awful, neither side is immune from it.

"It's not altogether mysterious that there are a lot of people that say, 'well, the Republican Party rewarded the Tea Party.' They just tell people what they want to hear: 'Move them to the right and we'll be rewarded,' Except they didn't get anything done. Then, that's going on now in our party. If you don't deal with the fact that we are too politically polarized and we keep rewarding people who tell us things we know we can't do because it pushes their hot buttons, we can't go forward together.” - Bill Clinton, campaigning for Bernie Sanders.

See, this is the Clinton bullshit I'm talking about. This is why it's difficult to vote for Hillary. Because the policy of the Clinton years, and the Democratic party post-Clinton, was that you win a tug of war by not pulling. What Clinton fails to point out about the Tea Party is that politically, it was a huge success. And its political success led to a crop of people in Congress who made it completely impossible to "go forward together". Not that it was possible to "go forward together" in the Newt Gingrich / Bill Clinton era, unless by "going forward together" you mean putting a bunch of black people in jail and insulting obscure rappers to make white suburbanites comfortable.

Bernie Sanders is not as far to the left as the Tea Party is to the right. He is not as far to the left as Donald Trump is to the right. Most of his ideas were mainstream liberalism pre-Reagan, You're dealing with people who are crucifying JEB BUSH AND MARCO RUBIO for being too moderate, and you think that moderation will win them over and let us move forward? Unrealistic and impossible, by the way, are not the same as bugfuck insane. The Tea Party ideas are bugfuck insane. Bernie's ideas are impractical in the current climate. So either help change the climate or get out of the fucking way.

"Only if they’re schizophrenic. I don’t see how they can do it otherwise, because you have two different philosophies." - Ben Carson, on how American Muslims can embrace democracy.

This quote is here for two reasons. First, odds are, after South Carolina, I won't have Ben Carson in my list of examples of awful Republican candidates. And second, this is the Tea Party attitude that Bill Clinton tried to pin on Bernie Sanders in some false equivalency bullshit. Sanders wants to give poor people some of rich people's money so poor people can go to college. Ben Carson thinks that American Muslims are incompatible with democracy and also doesn't know what schizophrenia means, despite being a brain surgeon.

We can't keep ceding the terms of the debate based on practicality, because then you get shit like this from Ben Carson, or Donald Trump playing along with the idea that Obama had Antonin Scalia murdered, as part of the mainstream, acceptable political discourse in America. Even if we can't put the crazy back in the bottle and make this kind of shit unacceptable again, we can at least stretch the boundaries of acceptable liberal thought to include actual liberal policies again.

"The World Trade Center came down because Bill Clinton didn't kill Osama bin Laden when he had the chance to kill him.” - Marco Rubio, because this again.

Remember before, when Donald Trump was accidentally right about a thing on Twitter? Well, he was accidentally wrong again during the Republican's perfect Republican debate last weekend. A bunch of idiots shouting over each other to see who can be the most stupid? No debate has ever been more accurate.

So anyway, Trump brought up the actual fact that Dubya was president on September 11, 2001, which means all the other candidates had to find some way to make that not true. Rubio blames Clinton for not succeeding. But while I was certainly not a fan of it at the time, in hindsight, Clinton tried. A lot. Mostly using freedom bombs. And every time he did it, he got criticized by a certain political party for using military action to distract the American public from his sex scandals. so, you know. Fuuuuuuuuuck Rubio.