No, Really, A Goddamned Beauty Pageant

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Memo to Donald Trump, the SCOTUS butthurt, and Apple: YOU ARE DUMB.

By the way, since yesterday, I found like another half-dozen fuckfaces. But I'm going to hold off on them until I'm desperate. The Confederate flag does make an appearance on SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY, but only in the first case of overreach.

You want to hear an amazing, true sentence? The Republican presidential candidate currently polling second in New Hampshire and gaining ground of the leader is currently engaged in a war of words with a Mexican television network over a beauty pageant.

This is the glory of the Trump. Univision, understandably upset that Donald Trump described immigration as Mexico "sending" the United States a bunch of rapists, told Trump they wouldn't be airing his Miss USA beauty pageant. Trump has threatened to sue in response. This is all ridiculous to begin with, but all of this is happening while he is RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.


I find it difficult to believe that conservatives actually convinced themselves so completely that the Great Obamacare Typo would actually allow them a court victory. I can only assume their all-day hyperbole about judicial tyranny (Huckabee) and the rule of law being turned on its head (Rand Paul) is the riling of the rubes and the traditional delegitimizing of any individual, group, or organization sho scores a victory over the noble forces of conservatism.

But for fuck's sake. The typo only got THREE VOTES from the Roberts Court, the most politicized, anti-justice court in modern history. And two of those votes were Scalia and Thomas, who vote, respectively, in line with whatever Rush Limbaugh and Antonin Scalia said most recently. So you got the two default votes and Alito. For this court, that's the equivalent of a shutout. That's a boot up your asses, to use a phrase you may be more comfortable with. You had no shot. Try coping.


And finally, I need to direct one of my patented recent CONTEXT MATTERS rants at Apple, who, joining in the national rejection of the Confederate flag, pulled a bunch of Civil War games from the App Store. And, to quote William Shatner, I can't get behind that.

There is a difference between recognizing that the Confederacy existed and celebrating it. For example, I don't have a problem with Civil War reenactments in general, on principle. I may have an issue with specific reenacters or reenactments that romanticize or flat-out lie about the War of Northern Aggression, but that doesn't really have anything to do with the Confederate flag. Similarly, a Civil War game involving the Confederacy is a perfectly valid context for a Confederate flag, unlike, say, a capitol building in a state that tried to secede from the United States a century and a half ago and failed. The worst part about Apple's move is that it gives ammunition to the pro-flag forces, and allows them to blur the lines between legitimate historical context and their own love of treason and slavery. Thanks, Apple.