A Brief Respite

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Memo to Jonathan Morris, Rives Miller Grogan, and Rand Paul: YOU ARE DUMB.

In honor of Bernie Sanders, who is not dumb, announcing his bid for the presidency, by which I mean reserving a certain amount of media attention and debate time for patently socialist ideas, we will abandon the recent tradition of talking about recent presidential hopefuls in IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS, well, except for Rand Paul, because fuck that guy.

"Faith is a set of beliefs, right? It’s a belief in God. It’s a belief that there are eternal consequences for your actions. And I think a leader that doesn’t have that — a set of core beliefs that help him to make justice an important part of his life and his decisions because he knows that there are eternal consequences, well, it’s somebody that it’s hard to trust.” - Rev. Jonathan Morris, on Fox and Friends, Foxing and Friending the shit out of it.

I'm a bit shocked that an alleged reverend, even one called upon to be a religious expert on Fox and Friends, would fuckbotch the definition of "faith" so spectacularly. I mean, I'm a godless heathen, and even I know that "faith" is belief without a need for proof. It's often in the context of belief in A god, but I have faith in all kinds of things based simply on a lack of evidence that they don't work.

And hey, if "knowledge" that there are eternal consequences aren't enough to keep the Rives of the world from trying to impose preternal consequences on all of us, whether we have "faith" or not, then I get to remain uncomforted by the fact that whatever "eternal" consequences our presidents think they may face, not a one of them will face any in this world. Unless you count horrible dog painting as a consequence.

"The bible teaches us that if you support gay marriage, you will burn in hell!" - Rives Miller Grogan, who is not an Avengers 2 villain.k

Rives Miller Grogan was dragged out of the Supreme Court for shouting this during oral arguments over their current gay marriage case. Apparently, he misunderstood what "oral arguments" meant and couldn't take it anymore.

Rives Miller Grogan was treated like a crazy person, mostly on account of his being a crazy person. But given that somewhere between three and five of the Supreme Court justices will be basing their gay marriage decision on the exact thing he yelled, I guess the difference between "crazy person" and "highest court in the land" is the ability to keep your mouth shut in public. It explains Clarence Thomas, if nothing else.

"There are so many things we can talk about. The breakdown of the family structure, the lack of fathers, the lack of a moral code in our society... This isn't just a racial thing.” - Rand Paul, making it obvious by exception what things he can't talk about.

I've got more planned on Baltimore tomorrow, although even now I can tell you it's not hugely different from what I've said about Ferguson or New York before this. But then, neither is the rhetoric from the Rand Paul corner, as seen in his explanation for the Baltimore violence above.

And no, in case you were wondering, Rand Paul's "moral code" doesn't actually exclude police murdering people. He's fine with that. He is, as he said himself, very supportive of the police. No, he's talking about extramarital fucking, mostly. Because as we all know, police check to see if you had a father in the house before they snap your fucking neck. And no, it isn't just a racial thing. But that doesn't mean it's not a racial thing.