Creationists: The Stupidest People On The Planet Week (Day Five)

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Memo to Creationists: JUST 'CAUSE THE WEEK'S OVER, YOU DON'T STOP BEING DUMB.

Welcome to the final day of Creationists: The Stupidest People On Earth Week here at You Are Dumb. We've covered a lot of ground this week, ranging from stupid creationists to idiot creationists to moron creationists to racist innumerate fucktard creationists to a president who has no problem supporting creationists.

Let's take one last peek into the fucked up minds of the Six Thousand Year Universe people, shall we? Or even, in the case of "Molatar Seth Pyrargent", the ten thousand year old universe people.

You may have seen references to "MSP" on the Internet this week - his site appears to have been discovered and passed around to the point of server-crashing. MSP is a self-proclaimed transspecies dragon shapeshifting evangelist who feels it is his job to bring the Gospel to the furry and werewolf communities.

Molatar is one of the Broken People. People who, for whatever reason, cannot cope with the world at all, and retreat into fantasy worlds and subcultures in an attempt to find a purpose, a place for themselves. Molatar is fairly unique in this regard in that usually people EITHER hook up with the Sonic-Fuckers OR the Psycho Jesus-Freaks, but Molatar has dedicated himself to uniting the worlds of people who like drawings of centaur dicks and people who like big-eyed porcelain angels.

I'm not going to make too much fun of Molatar - there's no sport in the powerless, terminally fucked-up. Plus, if he does succeed in turning the furries into rabid (so to speak) Christians, I might have to start showing up at Sunday services just to watch the resulting culture-clash implosion. But what's interesting about Molatar is that, even in the grips of MULTIPLE psychotic delusions, he's able to say that "I don't believe the Earth is as young as 6000 years." Admittedly, he then goes on to add only 4,000 years to the total, and spout some completely insane bullshit about God making the Earth's magnetic field super-strong, but he's still, technically, 67% more sane than the people petitioning your school board these days. And he thinks he can turn into a dragon if he concentrates hard enough.

Molatar is not the problem. You are. Or, rather, the person next to you is.

Just this week, a CBS News poll shows that 55% of the people they surveyed (885 adults, margin of error +/- three percent) believe that humans were placed on Earth in their current form by God. That humans didn't, and don't, evolve. About half that number, 27%, take the more reasonable view that humans did evolve, but that God created the process of evolution. And about half of THAT number, 13%, believe that whatever god or gods exist or don't stayed the fuck out of the whole species thing.

If the poll is correct, some form of creationism ends up with a higher margin of victory than BUSH. An even higher margin, 65%, felt that creationism should be taught side-by-side with evolution in public schools, and a whopping 37% thougth that creationism should REPLACE evolution in schools.

Lest you think, by the way, that this is ENTIRELY a red/blue state thing. out of those 885 people, some unspecified number (around 40%) voted for Kerry. And of those who voted for Kerry, nearly a quarter also felt that evolution should be scrapped in schools in favor of the Judeo-Christian creation myth. And the Democrats wants to move farther to the right to appeal to 2008 voters? I think they've locked up all the drooling morons they can manage at this point.

And this, by the way, is after 17 years of creationism being booted out of the public schools. So what can we do about it? We have to grow a pair. We have to stop respecting the opinions of people who say the sky is plaid. We have to realize that "Intelligent Design" theory boils down to "we don't know and we can never know", and thus, even if it weren't complete bullshit, is not a topic that belongs in BIOLOGY textbooks. Save it for philosophy class. We have to reject, outright, the efforts of people to demean and devalue the work of thousands of dedicated scientists just because it doesn't mesh with what they larnt in Sunday scherl.

If these people want to rot their own children's brains, that's fine. That's what their home life is for, after all. Believe what you want to believe. Spend 28 grand on a Virgin Mary cheese sandwich. But that's not what they want. They want the rest of us to follow their rules, too. Eat what their book says we should eat. Fuck who and when their book says it's OK for us to fuck. And learn only what their book tells us we need to know, plus maybe a class on Microsoft Word so we can print angel borders for our fucking scrapbooking projects.

Fuck them and the dinosaurs they rode in on.