End Times Can't Come Soon Enough, Really

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Memo to Greg Jarrett, Antonin Scalia, and Michele Bachmann: YOU ARE DUMB.

As I write this, all the big elections went as expected, although word on the street is that enough people voted for The Cooch to make it close, which does horrible things to your faith in humanity. So today's plan to do horrible things to your faith in humanity is, perhaps, ill-advised. But fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, and IDIOTS gotta SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"Sitting on the couch eating bonbons is now more financially lucrative”. - Fox News' Greg Jarrett, clearly looking to change careers.

So new income figures came out this week, and it turns out that average income is going up, but medium income isn't. If you're not math-inclined, what that means is that if you divide the total amount of money made by the total amount of people making money, you get a higher number than if you ask "how much money is half the population making?"

How does that happen? Well, it happens when people in the top half of all incomes make even more money than they used to, and the people in the bottom half don't. The average goes up, the median goes down.

So if the thing Jarrett were referring to - that if you get every welfare benefit there is out there, you earn the equivalent of a princely $12 an hour salary - were even remotely relevant, then maybe we need jobs that pay more that $12 an hour. Since the data says we don't, then Jarrett is blaming people for acting in their own self-interest, which is an odd tack to take for a Fox News commentator.

"I have friends that I know, or very much suspect, are homosexual. Everybody does," - Antonin Scalia, redefining "friendship" in much the same way a bull redefines a china shop, or in much the same way he redefined "voting rights", come to think of it.

This is exactly what I'm talking about when I repeatedly point out that Antonin Scalia, one of nine people who get to decide which laws stay and which laws go, is a wretched excuse for a human being.

Who "very much suspects" they have friends who are gay? And who goes out of their way to not just say "gay", but say "homosexual", in 2013? If they're your friends, and you have to very much suspect that they're gay, you know what? They're not your friends. I don't know what they are or why they'd spend time near someone like you, but whatever their reason is, it's not friendship.

“This happened and as of today the United States is willingly, knowingly, intentionally sending arms to terrorists, now what this says to me, I’m a believer in Jesus Christ, as I look at the End Times scripture, this says to me that the leaf is on the fig tree and we are to understand the signs of the times, which is your ministry, we are to understand where we are in God’s end times history." - Michele Bachmann.

Yep. Still in Congress. Still makin' laws. Never got voted out of office, in fact. Yep. There she is. Claiming that aid to Syrian rebels means the end times are here, and, as she went on to say, that was a good thing, because it'll bring people to Jesus.

Anyway, just thought you should know that, if you didn't, because that is easily in the top five worst versions of one of the world's worst leading superstitions, and Bachmann's just putting it out there like it's a perfectly normal thing for one of America's leaders to not only think, but say she thinks. And know this - even if she weren't stepping down, she still would have paid no political price whatsoever for the above quote. Whee!