Lazy-Ass Twitter Week, Day One

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NOTE: This is also seeming like a good time to get the site up to some kind of recent standard, Drupal-wise. This will be awkward and ugly until it's done, but you never came here for the cutting edge web design anyway, so suck it up.

Memo to the hundred-and-forty-first character: YOU ARE DUMB.

With the heat wave and some stuff with my schedule and some general-purpose wingnut fatigue, I'm going to sort of take the week off. But lest you be bereft of YAD-y goodness during that time, and in another attempt to promote the @youaredumb Twitter account and crack the 500-follower barrier for the first time ever, I'll be Tweeting stuff during the day, then providing you non-Twitter types with what you're missing the next day. So, to borrow a line from Cash Levy, TAKIN' IT TO THE TWEETS:

The first woman on the NYSE died today at age 80. She joined the exchange 46 years ago. The second woman joined 36 years ago.

Moral of the previous tweet: money guys are pricks.

Every single story about Lady Gaga dressing “normal” at the VMA’s proves she’s smarter than the people running those media outlets.

Every time I think I hate the AV Club, they post something like a six-part Bouchard walkthrough of Bob’s Burgers and I can’t stay mad.

The NSA has so many people spying on their love interests they coined a term for it. So don’t date anyone who says they’re in “marketing”.

In other news, proof just surfaced that we told Iraq where the Iranians were so Iraq could hit them with chemical weapons. Yay realpolitik!

I can’t unpack Huckabee’s plan to have the government cure cancer in 140 characters. I may not be able to unpack it at all.

“Ohio couple married 65 years die 11 hours apart.” You’re all going to rethink your reactions if the coroner rules this a murder-suicide.

Police have shot and killed a “large reptile” terrorizing an eastern Connecticut town. Reports that it was Joe Lieberman are unfounded.

Bonus points to anyone who can correctly guess, on Twitter, which of these I'm proudest of.