My Hate Comes In Many Sizes

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Memo to Electronic Arts, Larry Summers' boosters, and Georgia: YOU ARE DUMB.

One of the things I've been working on this week, you know, instead of writing some fucking columns for you people, is an attempt to cast a wider net in search of The Dumb. Feeds that used to reliably provide me with a wider range of stuff than the latest Louie Gohmert turdblossom don't seem to have bounced back from their election-era focal narrowing, and my sourcing has suffered from it.

Luckily, a few things do bubble up through the morass, and today we even have that rarest of rarities, an item culled directly from personal experience. SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!

This week saw the release of Ultima Forever, an attempt to rekindle and recast the classic Richard Garriot Ultima RPG's from the days of the floppy disk. Now, I was never a huge Ultima guy. I was a solid Bard's Tale partisan. But Ultima Forever was free, so I hit up the App Store, freed up space on the tablet, waited for the nearly 900MB download to finish, started the app, and was greeted with two options.

First, I could log in using Facebook. Second, I could play as a "guest". I chose the third option and deleted the app.

I don't know if EA is familiar with this or not, being a global software megacorporation, but Apple actually has a thing to connect players of games to each other. It's called Game Center. You don't have to be part of some other unrelated social network, you just have to use an Apple device. You know, the devices you made this goddamned game for? Yeah. Those devices. Look into it, assholes.


The debate over who will replace Ben Bernanke as the head of the Federal Reserve, or, as most people know it, The Agency I Don't Understand Fully But Suspect Is Instrumental In Fucking Me Over Even Though I Can't Prove It, is proving to be yet another exercise in hippie-punching.

Hippie-punching, of course, is the time-honored Beltway political pastime of doing something stupid just to piss off liberals who had the audacity to point out why it was stupid. The "it", in this case, being Larry Summers, an Obama economic adviser responsible for a metric shitload of awful advice, for which he is likely to be amply rewarded.

And now it's come out that Summers was instrumental in tanking Elizabeth Warren's nomination to head the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau, and no, it wasn't because he know she'd slingshot around the gravity well of that clusterfuck into a Senate seat and general awesomeness, either. So just keep that in mind when he gets the nomination and everyone starts talking about how smart and reasonable he is. Because it's all bullshit.


And finally, Georgia, where a new poll by Public Policy Polling shows that Paula Deen's approval rating amongst Republicans in the state is fourteen points higher than Martin Luther King, Jr.

Now, don't get me wrong. Public Policy Trolling exists, as far as I can tell, solely to ask embarrassing poll questions to Republicans in an attempt to portray them as fucking insane. But you can't blame them for how Republicans actually answer the questions.

PPP didn't actually make Georgia Republicans like a butter-laden, Big-Pharma-pimping occasional racist better than one of America's greatest, and certainly its most famous, civil rights leader. Georgia Republicans did that. Because a lot of them are just horrible people.