Just Sell Paint And Write Laws

« December 2011 »

Memo to Lowe's and Ted Lieu: NO NO NO NO NO.

You know what I'd like, for a change? For people to handle their shit correctly. I mean, I understand that certain people, like Rick Perry, will never be able to handle their shit correctly, and that, I'm fine with. But for ostensibly benign corporations and Democratic state legislators? HANDLE YOUR SHIT.

Here's the deal. There's this show on TLC. It's called All-American Muslim. It's a reality/documentary series about the lives of ordinary American Muslims in Dearborn, MI. Because none of the families have participated in terrorist bombings, honor killings, or the stoning of Christians, the usual subjects are up in arms about the show being pro-Islamist propaganda. One such group, the Florida Family Association, took time out from hating gay people and forcing women to have babies to go after the advertisers on the show it called "propaganda that riskily hides the Islamic agenda's clear and present danger to American liberties and traditional values".

Fair enough. Haters, as they say, are gonna hate. I would expect no less from the Florida Family Association, who are a bunch of gator-fucking retrograde shitheads. Now, if you're a major American retailer, and you get a letter from a bunch of gator-fucking retrograde shitheads, full of crazy-talk about how a bunch of families in Michigan are a clear and present danger to traditional values, you file the letter away under "Cranks" and go about your business.

Unless you're Lowe's, and then you pull the ads.

I mean, for fuck's sake, this isn't even Wildmon's crew. It's the Florida Family Association, You could probably pile their entire membership into a Lowe's and the employees would think it was a slow day. So if Lowe's pulled their ads, you have to assume that Lowe's sympathizes with the Islamophobic viewpoint, and pulled their ad as soon as they realized their general basic-cable ad buy was supporting pro-Islamic propaganda, right? Well... ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"Individuals and groups have strong political and societal views on this topic, and this program became a lightning rod for many of those views. As a result we did pull our advertising on this program. We believe it is best to respectfully defer to communities, individuals and groups to discuss and consider such issues of importance."

Well, there you go. Lowe's realizes that the question of whether all Muslims are out to destroy America can be a controversial viewpoint, and since Lowe's thinks it's best for communities, individuals, and groups to decide for themselves whether all Muslims are out to destroy America, they pulled their ads to, I guess, help facilitate that debate.

That is some weaksauce bullshit, right there. I hope Lowe's pulls its ads from Mythbusters, too, because individuals and groups also have strong political and societal views on whether SCIENCE FUCKING WORKS OR NOT. They can't advertise on Food Network because of the divisive nature of cilantro. No more advertising during football games until Tim Tebow retires. If there were a chance in hell Lowe's would be applying this ridiculous standard across the board, and not just citing it as a way to weasel out of one particular controversy, they'd be fucked.

And California state rep. Ted Lieu isn't buying it. He said recently that "We want to raise awareness so that consumers will know during this holiday shopping season that Lowe's is engaging in religious discrimination."

Absofuckinglutely. Lowe's can pull its ads from All-American Muslim all it wants, for whatever reason it wants. But people should know about it, so they can make their own purchasing decisions accordingly based on whether or not they agree with Lowe's. Good for him, since that's all he's doing, and there isn't some other paragraph from the Associated Press that is totally going to piss me off.

"Calling the Lowe's decision 'un-American' and 'naked religious bigotry,' Sen. Ted Lieu, D-Torrance, told The Associated Press he would also consider legislative action if Lowe's doesn't apologize to Muslims and reinstate its ads."


Handle your shit correctly, Lieu. First, you can't actually take any legislative action that would compel Lowe's to apologize and advertise on a particular program. That's not how this shit works. And it doesn't matter that you're only threatening to "consider" it. By even raising the spectre publicly, you've just reinforced the worst paranoid nightmares of the moronic pro-America/anti-government wingnut right.

Criticize Lowe's? Great. They're being fuckwits. They should be criticized. Raise awareness? Fuck yeah. Hit 'em where it hurts. Find out who else pulled the ads and out them, too. But if you're a lawmaker, don't be the one to start a boycott, don't be the one to start investigations, and don't be the one to threaten legislative condemnation about where Lowe's does and does not try to convince people that their wet/dry vacs are cheaper or better than the ones from the Great Orange Satan. That just makes the crazy people seem like they might have a point.