The Flaming Pants

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Memo to Barack Obama, Eric Erickson, and as always, Batshit Bachmann: YOU ARE DUMB.

Lies. Making shit up. It is the currency of modern American politics. And it is, in some ways, the greatest currency of all, because it somehow manages to devalue everything around it, while maintaining its own value day in, and day out. Which is why, when IDIOTS need to SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS, they frequently resort to making shit up.

"I'm still working on it." - Barack Obama, to ABC News, on whether he's changed his views to support marriage equality.

Nobody believes this. Or, at least, I hope not. I fully expect Obama to finish "working on it" right around the time the election results are in, about 13 months from now. But it's a shitty, shitty lie, on at least two levels.

First, it implies that Obama needs longer to "work on it" longer than, say, Republican state senators from New York, or dozens of other people supposedly socially to the right of Obama. It's not a difficult equation to solve morally. It doesn't take this many years to work on.

And second, it is apparently a difficult equation politically. Which makes it really, really tough to hold the moral high ground and say that the Republican Party needs the votes of bigots to get elected. The Democrats may need fewer bigots, and mainly bigots of one specific type, but the bigots still need to be pandered to. And in our case, it's the non-bigots who have to be spoken to in code.

"I don't think it's very significant. I think the Media Research Center today pointed out that the Washington Post in just the last couple of days has written more words on this story than they ever wrote on the Jeremiah Wright story, for its entire existence, with his connection to Barack Obama." - RedState's Eric Erickson, being paid by CNN to say things.

First thing, right off the bat, this is what we in the industry call a bald-faced motherfucker of a lie. The Post has in fact written ten times as many words on Jeremiah Wright as they have on Rick Perry's ranch being called "Niggerhead", along with Perry's half-hearted attempts to keep the word from being visible over the last couple of decades. But even if it were true, who gives a shit?

I know the right thinks Obama "got away" with the Jeremiah Wright thing, and they think he got away with it because the media didn't hang it around his neck, but tough shit. There was barely a "Jeremiah Wright thing" to begin with, and it didn't work even though the media covered it pretty fucking incessantly. And really, Eric, are you sure you want to bring up radical theology in order to DISTRACT from Rick Perry? I'll pit Wright against the speakers who lined up for Perry's Pray Away The Malaise rally any day of the week.

Anyway, to repeat something I said on Google+, if the Niggerhead Scandal ends up taking down Rick Perry's presidential bid, I will be slightly disappointed, because a lackadaisical attitude toward casual Texas racism is like ninth on the list of Rick Perry's minor flaws as a human being. But any port in a storm, as they say.

"And when he called upon Israel to retreat to its indefensible 1967 borders, don’t think that message wasn’t lost to Israel’s 26 hostile neighbors. You want to know why we have an Arab Spring. Barack Obama has laid the table for Arab Spring by demonstrating weakness from the United States of America." - Michele Bachmann, still somehow running for motherfucking President.

I really hope Michele Bachmann is making shit up here. Because otherwise, it implies that her supporters are full of people who think the Arab Spring - pro-democracy uprisings in multiple Arab countries meeting with varying degrees of success in their attempts to overthrow dictators and quasi-dictatorial assholes, is a BAD THING.

If that's the case, then the Bachmann constituency, which is not microscopic, has a generally dour attitude towards any darkies getting any kind of uppity, even it it means fighting for the freedoms they supposedly hate us for. Which at least still makes them worse bigots than the bigots that might vote for a Democrat, I guess?