Nothing Changed

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Memo to the universe: ANSWER ME ONE QUESTION.

Who, exactly, was the target audience for yesterday's release of Obama's long-form birth certificate? Someone, please, answer this fucking question. Because I don't see it.

It wasn't for the actual birthers. I refuse to believe that Obama, or anyone in his administration, were stupid enough to think that the people who didn't believe the short form would believe the long form. They're maddening, they're frustrating, they love corporations way too much for my taste, and they are completely wrong about the role of nut-kicking in American politics, but they're not completely detached from reality.

Birthers will always be birthers because Obama will always be black. That's all there ever was to it. That's all there will ever be to it. Orly Taitz accidentally admitted as such to Talking Points Memo: ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"In those days nobody wrote African as a race, it just wasn't one of the options. It sounds like it would be written today, in the age of political correctness, and not in 1961 when they wrote white or Asian or 'Negro'." The Birther Queen, questioning the legitimacy of the long-form certificate released yesterday.

In other words, Orly Taitz doesn't believe the latest evidence that Obama is a citizen. And why doesn't she believe it? Because she knows, in her heart of hearts, that Barack Obama is a Negro. The only way it could be more obvious is if she burned a cross on the White House lawn.

It's not for the opportunists. The hundreds of Republican politicians and pundits who have "taken him at his word" and used racist birther dogwhistles to rile up the white Republican base. Because they have plausible deniability. They can pretend, and in fact spent all day yesterday pretending, they always thought Obama was born here, while slyly intimating there was something fishy about why he didn't just do this sooner. And then pick up a new dogwhistle and win the votes of the racist diehards by finding some other way to mention Obama's skin color.

It might be for the media, I guess? If so, that's a hell of a leap of faith on Obama's part. There's been plenty of proof of Obama's citizenship already, and the media had no problem allowing anyone who wanted to to ask where the birth certificate was, completely unchallenged. Which is bad, but it might be worse if they stopped.

If the media decides not to air the crazy birther conspiracy theories, starting today, it'll be Vince Foster all over again. It'll go back under the rock and breed and fester and Republicans will get to reap the benefits of it without even having to work at walking the line between winking at the crazies and maintaining their public respectability.

It might have been just for Chris Matthews' benefit. I watched a bit of Hardball yesterday, and heard Matthews exclaim that yesterday was a great day for the nation, because now we all know the truth.

Of course, we all knew the truth yesterday. We knew it two years ago. There wasn't any legitimate doubt, and yet America's Spud managed to completely legitimize all those doubts by claiming that yesterday's events were special or important in any way. This asshole goes on the supposedly "liberal" cable news show every day for months talking about the crazy birthers, and the wacky birthers, and the racist birthers, and what they're up to today, and when the President releases a document he didn't have to release, to appease a bunch of racists who won't believe it, NOW we know the truth? Fuck you, Tim Russet.

Oh, and one more thing. ACTUAL PRESIDENTIAL QUOTE TIME!

"We do not have time for this kind of silliness. We've got better stuff to do. I've got better stuff to do. We've got big problems to solve. And I'm confident we can solve them, but we're going to have to focus on them -- not on this."

I really wish we weren't a nation of fainting fucking Puritan church ladies sometimes. "Silliness"? The English language contains what is clearly the ideal noun for that sentence. That noun is "bullshit", and I really wish that there was some way Obama could have said "We do not have time for this kind of bullshit" without starting a three-month motherfucking conversation about whether the President can say "bullshit" to describe something that is categorically bullshit.

Or, barring that, that Barack Obama was the kind of dude that would be willing to have a three-month conversation in order to ensure the rights of future presidents to call bullshit on its bullshit using the word "bullshit". America would pull the stick out a little farther, and Obama's approval rating would probably jump ten points by the time it was over.