Racism So Thick You Can Taste It

« February 2011 »

Memo to Allen West, Peter King, Connie O'Brien, and Debbie Schlussel: YOU ARE DUMB, DUMB, HORRIBLY DUMB, AND JUST FUCKING HORRIBLE, RESPECTIVELY:

Holy fuck, have we got some serious fucking racists and bigots in the public discourse right now. They're being invited to give speeches, setting public policy, and getting elected to Congress. Not much else to say about it, except that SHOCKINGLY RACIST FUCKWITS SAY THINGS EVEN I'M SURPRISED BY!

"Well I think it’s most important that I stand upon the principles that people elected me to go to Washington, DC and represent them on Capitol Hill. So that when you run into someone that is counter, or someone that really does represent the antithesis of the principles upon which this country was established, you’ve got to be able to defeat them intellectually in debate and discourse, and you to just have to be able to challenge each and every one of their assertions very wisely and very forthright." - Rep. Allen West, when asked how he can possibly, to use West's hated term, "co-exist" with Keith Ellison, who's a Muslim.

By the way, when asked for a response, Keith Ellison talked a lot about discourse and civility, but started off by mentioning, politely, that that son of a bitch West had never dared say anything like that to his face. Which isn't surprising, Allen West has a history of only talking tough when he's got a gun to a prisoner's head.

Also, good luck with that battle plan. For the record, here is a small subset of people and things Allen West is incapable of defeating intellectually: Watson, the Jeopardy computer. Any contestant who has ever been on Jeopardy. The guy from the vocational school who sweeps up the craft services area of Jeopardy. Alex Trebek's house plants. Alex Trebek's fake plastic house plants. And Alex Trebek's last bowel movement.

"The only real testimony we have on it is from Sheikh Kabbani who was a Muslim leader during the Clinton Administration, he testified back in 1999 and 2000 before the State Department that he thought over 80 percent of the mosques in this country are controlled by radical Imams. Certainly from what I’ve seen and dealings I’ve had, that number seems accurate." - Rep. Peter King, the second-dumbest King in Congress.

Ah, the "I heard one figure that sounds right to me" school of debate! I don't know if that's the only "testimony" out there, but it's certainly not the only evidence out there, and the other evidence says very, very different things. Plus, there's common sense, which, like a "radical Imam", is something Peter King wouldn't recognize if it danced around him wearing a Common Sense t-shirt while a gospel choir sung "That's common sense!" in front of fifty foot letters of fire spelling out "Hey, look, Peter King: this is what common sense looks like!"

There are roughly five million Muslims in the US. I think we can safely assume that they all go to mosques, at least on Christmas and Easter. That means 4 million Muslims attend mosques controlled by radical imams, if King's number is correct. Do you have any idea how much shit four million radicalized Muslims would be up to in America? A hell of a lot more than actually goes down. Like Peter King's fear-piss, this just doesn't pass the smell test.

"My son who’s a Kansas resident, born here, raised here, didn’t qualify for any financial aid. Yet this girl was going to get financial aid. My son was kinda upset about it because he works and pays for his own schooling and his books and everything and he didn’t think that was fair. We didn’t ask the girl what nationality she was, we didn’t think that was proper. But we could tell by looking at her that she was not originally from this country... Well she wasn’t black, she wasn’t Asian, and she had the olive complexion. State Rep. Connie O'Brien, who is also Watson's correct answer to the question "What's The Matter With Kansas".

I'd like to thank Ms. O'Brien for being honest in a mind-blowingly honest manner. When pressed on how she knew some foreigner was taking evil government aid that her white, nativist Kansan son had too much pride to accept after it turned out nobody would give it to him, O'Brien told the truth that most anti-immigrant Republicans keep thinly veiled.

That's what it's about, folks. If you have an olive complexion, and get something one single white person doesn't, for any reason, you are going to be branded as The Enemy by members of one of America's two political parties. (Note: this is also true if you're black or Asian.)

"So sad, too bad, Lara. No one told her to go there. She knew the risks. And she should have known what Islam is all about. Now she knows... How fitting that Lara Logan was 'liberated' by Muslims in Liberation Square while she was gushing over the other part of the 'liberation.'" - Debbie Schlussel, Queen of the Islamophobes, on the news that ABC reporter Lara Logan was raped and beaten while covering the events in Egypt.

One more reason I'm an atheist. This is some smite-with-lightning shit. Given the existence of any kind of just, loving deity, the instant Schlussel hit "post", there should have been a thunderclap and a smoking, oily crater.

Fuck, even from a rational, biological basis, I'm not sure how one human being can have enough thick, black bile in their veins and hate in their heart and not just burst a blood vessel and drop dead when they're so worked up that they're willing to blame a rape victim for not being sufficiently racist toward brown savages.

It's a shame that seems to be medically impossible, because if it ever happens, I am throwing a fucking party. That's not a joke, that's a promise. I'll post pictures.