Upside Down And Backwards

« December 2010 »

Memo to Joe Arpaio, Curry Todd, and Bob Salazar: YOU ARE DUMB.

There could have been a theme this week. I've got a pair of immigrant-hatin' quotes all lined up, and I could have found a third. But I'm making a conscious effort to reduce the raw political content of YAD from 100% to somewhere between 67 and 80 percent, and it is in that spirit that I throw theme under the bus and just go ahead with IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"I was actually wrong, and I admit when I'm wrong." - Tennessee state representative Curry Todd.

ACTUAL CONTEXT TIME! What Curry Todd, who bears a double burden of stupidity due to being a state representative and being from Tennessee, admits he was wrong about was his word choice. He admits he should have used the term "anchor babies" instead. In the following sentence:

"They can go out there like rats and multiply, then." "They", of course, means illegal immigrants. Nobody has yet asked Todd how exactly that sentence would work with the term "anchor babies". Nobody has asked him why a guy named Curry has a bug up his ass about illegal immigrants, either. The Fourth Estate fails me on a regular basis, and this is just one small example.

"Ten years, that was the last time we did anything this meaningful. If you think of social media, videogames, and the conventional competition, it has changed dramatically in the last 10 years. Even though the brand has never been as strong, we felt that refreshing it in our promotion and our branding, was something that we felt this moment in the network’s history would be the perfect time for. It is the irreverent wink of Comedy Central." - Bob Salazar, with the astonishingly unwieldy title of "senior vice president/creative director, brand creative" at the cable comedy channel.

Now, I wasn't that fond of CC's old logo, the globe with the skyscrapers sticking out of it. But the new logo, a sterile sans-serif affair whose only bucking of convention is that the Central is upside down and backwards is not, by any stretch of the imagination, the most meaningful thing they've done in ten years. Canceling Mind of Mencia was more meaningful than that.

Also, his explanation? And the bit how an upside-down C is an "irreverent wink"? Those two facts lead me to one inescapable conclusion. About three months ago, Bob Salazar's boss must have caught him goofing off. Probably playing Farmville on his office computer. And Bob Salazar got yelled at. And suddenly, people started wondering what they were paying a senior VP and creative director of brand creative to DO. And so now they have a new logo, and Salazar's digital cows are all dead. I hope you're happy, Bob Salazar's boss!

"These guys are busy with their acting careers so I don't expect them to be here on duty very often. But they can be instrumental in heightening public awareness of the immigration issue and encouraging others to join the posse's effort to help reduce the flow of illegal immigrants into our communities." - America's Most Needy Sheriff, Joe Arpaio.

In case you were wondering who These Guys are, they are, in decreasing order of importance:

  • Incredible Hulk actor and former Incredible Hulk actor Lou Ferrigno.
  • Doughy fake reality show cop Steven Seagal.
  • Peter Lupus, who played "Willy" on Mission: Impossible and is pushing 80.
  • Wyatt Earp, nephew and name-sharer of the famous Wyatt Earp.
  • Dick Tracy, who's a retired Chicago cop who happens to be named Dick Tracy.

Joe Arpaio has gone from famous to dangerous to pathetic in a startlingly short amount of time. How fucking desperate do you have to be to round up a fourth-string celebrity posse made up of a deaf guy, a fat guy, an old guy, a relative of a famous guy, and Has The Same Name As A Fictional Character guy. This makes Big Hollywood's author lineup look like Spago after the Oscars. This group couldn't even bus tables at Spago during the Oscars.

Clearly, people aren't paying enough attention to Joe Arpaio. Keep up the good work!