Why It's Tough To Buck Up

« October 2010 »

Memo to Jim DeMint, Larry Kudlow, and Americans Against Hate: YOU ARE DUMB.

You want to know why the Obama/Biden "Buck Up" comments rankle? Here's one reason. I'm being told to shut up and support Democrats because the alternative, the Republicans, are much, much worse. But I know that. I know the Republicans are worse. I knew that two years ago, which is why I thought it was a bad idea to try to compromise and work with them. And I was right. And now I'm being told the reason I should be happy with what's gone down so far is the same reason I'm not happy with what's gone down so far. Republicans are generally awful, and have been getting worse, not better. Want proof? IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS.

"DeMint said if someone is openly homosexual, they shouldn't be teaching in the classroom and he holds the same position on an unmarried woman who's sleeping with her boyfriend — she shouldn't be in the classroom." - A report from the Spartanburg Herald-Journal, detailing how the South Carolina senator defended this position at a rally.

Republicans are generally awful. Not only does this one hate gay people, he goes all the way back to 1950s gender roles and decides that sexually active unmarried women are unfit to teach children. Not sexually active single people, just the women. I can't possibly imagine what system he'd put in place to detect which unmarried woman-teachers were sleeping with their boyfriends, but I know two things. That in his head, he has one, and that in his heart, he uses it as masturbation fodder.

Oh, and all you poor, vaguely-Libertarian suckers dreaming of a saner, small-government, fiscally conservative and socially liberal GOP you can call home? You appear to have two options. Go fuck yourselves, or move to Nebraska so you can vote for Ben Nelson, which is semantically equivalent to both going and fucking yourself.

"Remember, this is on global television. And it has to do with the very top of the United States government. Our friends and enemies were all watching. I think the hug lacked dignity. It did not send a message of American power and forcefulness. So I fret about the reaction around the world to this kind of fraternity-like emotionalism in full public view. Why not just a dignified, stand-up, serious handshake? That’s what Reagan would have done. A strong handshake shows friendship, respect, and even affection. But a big fat hug seems to go over the line. - Larry Kudlow, on Big Government.

This is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about. Republicans are generally awful. You cannot even consider working with or compromising with a group of people who are going to take a farewell hug for your chief of staff and friend of decades and turn it into yet another emboldening of America's enemies and, even worse, not Reagany enough!

They will never like you, they will never respect you, they will never not fuck you over given the tiniest sliver of an excuse - a sliver that they will go ahead and invent if you don't provide them with one. So please stop giving US shit just because we're uncouth enough to point this out. Thanks.

Representative Klein has both the authority and the responsibility to remove Keith Ellison from the Congressional Task Force on Anti-Semitism, a group that Ellison has no business being on. We demand that he does so immediately. Every day that Ellison sits on that task force is an offense to those who fell victim to anti-Semitism and/or radical Islam." - A group called, I shit you not, Americans Against Hate.

And you know what? I am going to vote in November. And I'm going to vote for Democrats. And for the most part, because of where I live, I'm even going to be moderately happy about that. Except for when I vote to ensure the guaranteed re-election of Keith Ellison. I'm going to relish that shit. I'm going to revel in it. If it's possible to fill in an oval triumphantly, I will manage it in November. Just to spit in the eye of fuckholes like this, who are, I might add, generally awful.

Ellison, of course, is a Muslim. And as a result, these ugly bags of mostly shit and water get to claim that he "associates" (gives speeches to) groups that are "connected" to terrorists (a.k.a. other Muslims). Well, Americans Against Certain Specific Types Of Clearly Defined Hate Who Freely Embrace Lots Of Other Hate, feel free to eat a piping-hot bag of halal dicks. Keith Ellison represents the 5th district, which hasn't gone Republican since the 60s, even though it includes Edina. He's welcome to stay our Congressman for as long as he'd like.

And if you don't like that? Well, just buck up.