Old Quotes' Home

« September 2008 »

Memo to various and sundry: YOU WERE DUMB.

My post-convention stupidity backlog is almost used up, except for one key, important area. Idiots saying the damndest things. Oh, how they love to say the damndest things, those idiots. They love it so much that they keep doing it and doing it and doing it well, or at least well past the point we wish they would stop. So enjoy these moments of pure, unadulterated dumb, from the mouths of boneheads.

"Like you, I am very concerned that many of our schools and universities have lost their way, having become bastions of moral relativism and moral compromise with the culture of death... It’s appalling, it’s a cause for sorrow and it has to change. Our schools need to become oases of goodness, sound moral teaching and, they must become agents of change in the culture. Our students must find the God of the Bible and Biblical values in the classroom, on the campus. - Embryo fetishist and New Jersey congressman Chris Smith.

Smith said this at a gathering of Catholic Republicans in St. Paul during convention week, and while it's nothing new to suggest that if we teach all the little kids about Jesus in public school, when they grow up, they'll never ever kill any babies, it's still infuriating. I mean, when I was in public school three decades ago, this would have been an awful idea. Even in New York suburbia in the 70's, bringing the God of the Bible into the classroom would have meant deliberately trying to convert a handful or two of kids from other or no faiths. Nowadays, you simply can't say shit like that without sounding like a missionary who just discovered a brand new island full of natives. When will these fuckers die off?

"My wife will love this!" - Lou Dobbs.

Anyone who spends any time watching Lou Dobbs knows that the dude hates brown people. But it's always been a bit of an open question - does he hate them because he believes they're innately inferior, or does he hate them more out of rampant White America jingoism? Well, now we have a clue. Because Lou Dobbs has apparently chosen to spend his life with a woman who thinks racist caricatures of Barack Obama plastered all over a fake waffle mix box, offered up for sale at a booth at the Values Voters Summit, is the BEST THING EVER. The incident was quickly swept under the rug, and Lou Dobbs' daily tirades against Mexicans have not suffered as a result.

"We've said in Minnesota, in my view, this is a local decision. Intelligent design is something that, in my view, is plausible and credible and something that I personally believe in but, more importantly, from an educational and scientific standpoint, it should be decided by local school boards at the local school district level." - Tim Pawlenty, in an interview with Tom Brokaw"

Well, well, well. What do you know. Timmeh's a soft creationist! Color me a bit surprised. I've always thought of Timmeh as more of an ideological opportunist, with no real guide to personal beliefs or policy beyond "what can I say that will get the cool powerful Republicans to invite me to their parties?" But he said this -after- Palin got the VP nod, with his next election bid two full years away, and here is is promoting the Dover Dead End.

While he's probably not a strict young-earth creationist, people who promote teaching intelligent design alongside evolution must, by simple logic, believe that intelligent design precludes evolution. People who believe that God created the mechanisms that lead to the evolution of the species billions of years ago don't need to have their belief taught as science, because other than the "god" part, their belief IS taught in schools. Ergo, Tim Pawlenty doesn't believe in evolution, ergo Tim Pawlenty is even dumber than I thought he was. Which is an impressive and terrifying bit of political limbo, let me tell you.