Litter, Bugged
Spastic Topic Monkey Friday, 16 May 2008
Memo to the usual suspects: YOU ARE DUMB.
The Spastic Topic Monkey would like it to be known that he denounces, renounces, rejects, and repudiates all attempts by Atlanta-area bar owners to use simians as racist imagery. However, he does fully endorse SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY.
The Duggars are pregnant with their eighteenth child. You may, perhaps, expect even more of my traditional outrage over their ridiculous reproductive stunt, but at least this time I understand their motives. Now they're famous as the couple that keeps having babies when all reason, all sanity, and the fundamental physical principle of friction would demand that they stop. They've got a TV series, for fuck's sake. Sure, it's on deep Discovery spinoff basic cable hell, but still, it's television.
The Rolling Stones keep touring. Brendan Fraser is making a third Mummy movie. Every goddamned year there's a new Madden game, whether we like it or not. The only warped philosophy the Duggars are exemplifying now is sequel-itis. I mean, it's a shame that a dozen and a half semi-sentient beings have to have their lives ruined just so their parents can stay in the spotlight, but at least now it's no worse than a kid's beauty pageant.
I swear, Dubya isn't even fucking trying anymore. His two big fuckups this week came across like watered-down half-assed self-parodies of his usual bullshit. I guess when you've set the all-time record for people hating your sorry presidential ass, you can afford to coast.
Anyway, first he gave an interview where he talked about how he hasn't played golf since August of 2003 because he thought it would look bad for him to be on the golf course while soldiers were dying in Iraq. Only a mind like Bush's could somehow make the distinction that clearing brush, being gently mocked by Rich Little at the Correspondent's Dinner, and tap-dancing in front of the White House are all respectful of our soldiers' sacrifice, but golf is just a bit too tacky.
The only thing more awe-inspiring than Bush sacrificing his tee-time during war-time is that two months after he supposedly gave up golfing, he was GOLFING. He's gotten to the point where he just lies reflexively, about things that the lie doesn't even help. Next he'll tell us he had waffles and human flesh for breakfast, and three hours later someone will leak that he actually had pancakes and human flesh. But it's OK, because the chef that mixed up the presidential and vice-presidential menus has been fired.
Oh, he also said that Barack Obama would have appeased Hitler, but since it stopped being the summer of 2006 nearly two years ago, I really can't bring myself to care.
Marie Jon' is someone I've been meaning to yell at for weeks. Back toward the end of April, she wrote a long, rambling post at the factory outlet for right-wing nutjobs, RenewAmerica. Her post was a barely-coherent attack on rationality. Which is fine. I'm a big fan of reason and being rational, but I can see where stupid crazy people might feel differently. The problem I have is with this bit. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!
"We can reason and rationalize just about anything, including our lack of exercise and bad eating habits. We rationalize insensitivity to others' feelings because we live in a world that has become coarse and crude. Are we reasonable? Are we rational? How often does an alcoholic rationalize: 'I can have one drink?' Marriages and homes are destroyed by acts of infidelity. Some men rationalize that watching pornography has no detrimental effect on their libido. Nothing could be further from the truth."
Well, at least one thing could be further from the truth. "Marie Jon' has a full and complete grasp of the English language, and everyone understands why the fuck she has an apostrophe at the end of her name."
Rationalizing is not reason, you complete fucking mental invalid. Rationalizing is the opposite of reason. It's pretending you've made a decision for logical, rational reasons to hide the fact that your real reasons were emotional, crazy, or the product of addiction.
Don't blame intellectuals for the lousy excuses of idiots, and while we're at it, don't blame thinking, reasoning people for the fact that you have no idea what you're talking about. It's not our fault you're stupid, though I will accept blame on behalf of all smart people everywhere for noticing how stupid you are.