The Dare2Share Quiz

« May 2008 »


Let's face it. This column uses up to 20 minutes a day of my free time. And sometimes, I don't feel the need to spend that time writing "penis penis poop I hate McCain scrotum" when there's something better I'd rather be doing, like throwing balls at giant piles of stuff and knocking it down. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that some days, it's easier to destroy than it is to create.

Which is where my classic "go-to's" come in. The Howard Foundation, Katherine Kersten, Michelle Malkin, and my favoritest go-to of all, Dare2Share, the youth ministry devoted to making teen Christians the most ostracized social group in high school history so that they enroll more willingly into the End Times Army. And their main tool for this is the Share Your Faith series. But in a twist, instead of my usual mockery of their ludicrous attempts to tie Jesus to pop culture, we're going to have a little quiz. I'll give you an excerpt from a Share Your Faith entry, and you try and figure out what they want you to share your faith using.

Answers are below the line. If you get them all right, then that says something about you, but I'm not willing to figure out exactly what that is. ACTUAL QUIZ TIME!

1: "Can you think of something positive and creative you could do that would be unusual and attention-getting and fun, while turning people's attention toward God? Ask your friends if there are any particular people they think of when they hear the term 'radical'? Who? Listen, then take the opportunity to share why you think of Jesus as a radical revolutionary.

A: The Coachella Music Festival
B: The Frozen Grand Central Station video
C: The X-Games

2: In its depiction of a world filled with horror and tragedy, [BLANK] wrestles with one of the core questions humans have been asking for thousands of years: How could a good God allow this to happen? Because God designed humans with freewill, the choice to love God or turn away from Him stands at the core of the human story. Choosing a path separated from God and His goodness leads down the road to sin and death - with devastating consequences woven throughout the fabric of human lives. Choosing the path of faith that Jesus laid out for us, leads down the road to a restored relationship with God.

A: I Am Legend
B: The new season of Deadliest Catch
C: The Left Behind video game

3: "[BLANK] provides a great opportunity for you to engage your unreached friends (particularly those with a bent toward science) in spiritual conversation. So consider buying your friends a ticket to see this movie and plan some God-talk time to debrief after the movie."

A: Iron Man
B: Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed
C: The Planet Earth DVDs

4: "But in an odd sort of way, realizing that things aren't always what they seem to be, is one of those truths of life that can help you keep your head on straight. Jesus actually drew a huge crowd when he taught this truth to his followers in the Sermon on the Mount, pointing out that in many dimensions of life, things aren't entirely what they seem."

A: John McCain's Presidential Campaign
B: The Pregnant Man
C: Rickrolling

1: B - The Frozen Grand Central Station video. I had no idea what it was. Some net video where a whole bunch of people flash mobbed Grand Central Station and all stopped moving at the same time. I anxiously await a bunch of Christian teens all stopping in the middle of St. Paul during the Republican convention, each with their arms outstretched... for about 45 seconds. See, kids? It's much easier with nails.

2: A - I Am Legend. According to the article, Will Smith's character "wrestles with his 'savior' roll in the movie.". This surprises me, because I was under the impression that it was only the Catholics who had savior rolls. I suppose rabid evangelicals could have hot cross buns or something.

3: B - Expelled! Of course the one they wanted to use to spark a science / faith discussion is the one with the worst science. I wish it were Iron Man, though. The "God-talk time to debrief" after that would have to be the funniest thing ever. "Do you ever feel like you have a suit of golden armor protecting you from sin?"

4: C - Rickrolling I shit you completely the fuck not. How To Share Your Faith Using Rickrolling. If you got this one right, give yourself a gold star and a rousing chorus of "Never Gonna Give You Up" played on a megachurch synthesizer. To be fair, in many ways, born-again fascists invented the prototype for the rickroll - those fake "family planning advice centers" they set up right across the street from abortion clinics. Never Gonna Give You Up, indeed.