You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
August 21st, 2014
Memo to Rick Perry, right-wing Islamophobes, and WE Network: YOU ARE DUMB.
There are non-Fergusony things going on this week. Not a lot, but some. And it's my duty to bring these tales of general stupidity, and, well, bigotry against not-black-people to you in the traditional SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY format.
So, Rick Perry's in a bit of trouble. It didn't go down the way it wouild in my dreams. As a rich white politician, Rick Perry was able to schedule his mug shot, was not arrested, is not being held, did not get Tased, did not get shot, is not facing execution in a state with a clemency-averse governor, and will not be slave labor in a corporate for-profit prison. But still, it's better than him not being indicted for abuse of power.
Perry, of course, claims it's politically motivated, and the media seems inclined to agree with him. And this is a state that couldn't keep Tom DeLay as a convicted felon, so really, all I can hope for is that Perry is slightly inconvenienced by the whole thing. I am disappointed that the police department that took his mug shot didn't let him wear his new glasses, though. I would have loved to speculate about the Perry campaign's decision-making process about whether or not he should pretend to look smart while taking a mug shot.
It's kind of a shame the wingnut Islamophobes can't be satisfied. They've finally found, or, depending on your views of American foreign policy, brought about, their ultimate nightmare Muslims in the Islamic State. Warmongering, massacring, beheading, rampaging complete bastards who have established The Caliphate. It's a very small caliphate, but still. Caliphate. All they have to do is mention Sharia and "dhimmi", and they could be a Pam Gellar blog post brought to life.
And you'd think that would be enough. We can bomb them fairly indiscriminately and nobody will get too mad, we can go back to war in Iraq in three to seven hundred "military advisor" chunks (that's 600 to 1,400 boots on the ground although there will be no boots on the ground) and they've got a brown enemy. But no, that's not enough. They have to extrapolate from the British-accented shitheel who beheaded a hostage live on camera to anyone with a tan and a beard that crosses their path. Be happy with what you have, assholes! Don't get greedy with your racism.
And finally, I should get out ahead of the curve and address the news reports that started last night about the WE (Women's Entertainment) Network's new show, Sex Box.
The premise is that people on the show fuck. In a box. You don't see them, but they're fucking. In a box. On TV.
Now, normally, I would fully embrace the whole decadent, Last Days of Pompeii, I'd Buy That For A Dollar nature of the show. But WE has to pretend it's respectable, so it's a "relationship" show where a couple talk to a panel of relationship therapists, and then go fuck in a box, and then talk some more to relationship therapists.
It's not even what I initially and wishfully extrapolated from the teaser paragraph in my RSS feed - I thought, and would be much happier with, a show where the therapists get to watch and critique and offer tips in a sort of real life coaching/MST3K experience. I'd find out what channel WE was on my cable box for that.
But no, it's more respectable Puritan exploitation from the pretending-we're-not-repressed capital of the world. Disappointing.