You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
March 4th, 2014
Memo to Lindsay Graham, Steve King, and Tucker Carlson: YOU ARE DUMB.
Fun fact. There is a portion of the right-wing fever swamp I do not concern myself with. At least not yet. Unfortunately, the amount of space between the people I DO concern myself with and the people I don't shrinks every single year. Today, they almost touch on IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!
"It started with Benghazi. When you kill Americans and nobody pays a price, you invite this type of aggression. #Ukraine" - Senator Lindsey Graham, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that Twitter should be even more licensed and regulated than assault rifles.
Benghazi! Say it soft and it sounds like you're crazy. Say it loud and it also sounds like you're crazy, but also loud. It's the ultimate scandal. Just say the name and it implies horrible wrongdoing, even though nobody ever really says what that wrongdoing was or how what was done was wrong. But Obama and Hillary are responsible for it! No doubt about that! When Americans are attacked abroad, it's always America's fault, right? That's who we're supposed to blame first.
Huckleberry was, of course, making the point that Ukraine is the direct result of presidential weakness - a topic we also addressed on Monday. But if you take that at face value, then Graham is still wrong, because it didn't start with Benghazi. It started with, if I recall my wingnut hissyfits correctly, bowing to foreigners on apology tours or something like that. Obama was being criticized for not blowing up Iran long before the Benghazi attack. So make up your damn minds.
“The one thing that I reference when I say “self-professed” is: how do you know who to discriminate against? They about have to tell you. And, you know, are they then setting up a case? Is this about bringing a grievance or is it actually about a service that they’d like to have? And doesn’t free enterprise provide that service if the demand is there? Someone can open up a cake shop, can’t they?" - America's Second-Stupidest Congresscritter, Steve King, explaining religious liberty.
See, if we don't protect businesses who discriminate against gays, straight people will pretend to be gay people, get businesses to discriminate against them, then sue the businesses, and it'll be gay people's fault for trying to claim special status for their self-professed lifestyle choices and broadcasting them to people who just want to open a cake shop.
It's funny how, whenever a minority wants the same thing as everyone else, the usual suspects try and find a way to work "separate but equal" in even though the idea's been totally discredited and found to violate fundamental American values. As long as gay people can get a cake from someone, it doesn't matter if they can get one from anyone. Who cares which water fountain you drink out of as long as you get water, right?
“The federal government takes sides and hands out spoils based on skin color.” - Tucker Carlson, appearing on Alex Jones' radio show.
Revel in that for a bit. Tucker Carlson, appearing on Alex Jones' radio show. If you don't know who Alex Jones is, count yourself lucky. If there's a rightmost edge of the wingnut universe, Alex Jones is it. And Tucker Carlson, former semi-respectable cable guy and pundit, is now rooting around in the rancid hog lagoon of right-wing radio.
Which is either a stunning indictment of Tucker Carlson's career path, a stunning indictment of how the mainstream of conservative thought has shifted towards the previously unacceptable insanity of a Jones, or, as is usually the case in such things, both. I mean, Carlson's statement, which is straight-up ugliness and unadulterated, blatant race-baiting of a type that just a decade ago would have been veiled in layers of plausible deniability and dog-whistle.
And even with all that, what Tucker said? Barely the preface to the introduction to the mildest part of the Alex Jones playbook. If Tucker is hemlock, Jones is plutonium. Nice job, Tucker.