Archive - Sep 20, 2016


Shitfire Exhaustion

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Memo to Bill O'Reilly, Donald Trump, and Donald Trump: YOU ARE FLAMING SHITBAGS.

With Donald Trump, the right-wing's favorite activity is now a valid campaign tactic. Taking things we all take for granted, taking a giant shit in them, lighting them on fire, leaving them on our doorstep, all in the eventual hope that we will just get tired of putting the fucking shitfires out. That's where we are now. IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

“I'm saying to myself, every African American I know has an ID," he then said. "And not only that, the states that want that will send you an ID, they’ll come to your house with the ID and ice cream. They’ll give you ice cream with the ID.” - Bill O'Reilly, making a bunch of shit up to make monsters feel better.

If states came to everyone's houses and gave them ID and ice cream for free, nobody would be trying to pass the Voter ID laws that Bill O'Reilly is talking about. The whole point of the North Carolina Supreme Court case is that they specifically passed laws like this to keep African-Americans from voting. Invariably, states that pass these laws limit the places you can get IDs, limit the hours those places are open, and do not, I repeat, do not offer ice cream. Although if they did, Bill O'Reilly would be shocked to see it being eaten with a spoon.

Also, every African-American Bill O'Reilly knows is like a dozen people, and the only reason he knows they have ID is that every time he sees one of them in the Fox News offices, he makes them show it to him because he thinks they broke in to rape all the white women now that Roger Ailes isn't there to do it anymore.

"She goes around with armed bodyguards like you have never seen before. I think that her bodyguards should drop all weapons. They should disarm. Right? Right? I think they should disarm immediately. What do you think? Yes? Yes. Yeah. Take their guns away. She doesn't want guns. ... Let's see what happens to her. Take their guns away, okay? It would be very dangerous." - Donald Trump, discovering that he's moved the line quite a bit.

I hate to say this, but one part of Trump's strategy is working. I mean, I hate to call it a strategy, because it's not a real strategy. He's not doing it on purpose. It's just a thing that's happening that he's taking advantage of. But the point is, what's working is, Donald Trump can say more stupid shit than the media can adequately cover given their innate weaknesses.

For example, there was a time when one Presidential candidate issuing an implicit threat to the life of the other candidate's life would be news. That time was in August, less than two months ago, when Donald Trump suggested that the "Second Amendment People" could take care of Hillary Clinton if she won the election. We got a few days of coverage out of it, hand-wringing, arguments over What Trump Meant when everyone knew What Trump Meant, and even the brief involvement of the Secret Service. Now? By making a slightly less implicit threat against Clinton to make the same point about how great guns are, Trump just skates on by. It's old news. It's normalized. And the worst part is, it's gonna stay normalized even after he loses. It's the Vitter Effect writ large.

"But the bad part, now we will give him amazing hospitalization. He will be taken care of by some of the best doctors in the world. He will be given a fully modern and updated hospital room. And he'll probably even have room service knowing the way our country is. On top of all of that, he will be represented by an outstanding lawyer. What a sad situation. We must have speedy but fair trials and we must deliver a just and very harsh punishment to these people." - Donald Trump, strict Constitutionalist.

YOU CAN'T GIVE A FAIR TRIAL TO A DEAD PERSON WITHOUT A LAWYER, ASSHOLE. You can certainly give a speedy trial to someone bleeding from gunshot wounds who you've already decided is guilty, if you're an authoritarian fascist fucknut disguising yourself as someone who loves America. Look, this latest, shittiest amateur bomber and the St. Cloud stabber are a small problem, but our system was set up to handle these problems and it does better with these kinds of problems than nearly all the other problems our legal system handles.

But the most objectionable part of this sentence is really two words. "Room service". When you're confined to a hospital room and you're under arrest and they have to bring you food because it'd be illegal to let you starve to death, that is not a perk. That is not a luxury. That is not a privilege. That's just being brought food so you don't starve when you're not allowed to go anywhere. Portraying basic necessities as luxuries to turn poor people against other people in bad circumstances is nothing new - remember "Obamaphones"? But this is still monstrous bullshit.