Archive - Jul 2016

July 20th

Outpaced But Unbowed

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Memo to the RNC Delegates, Al Baldasaro, Ben Carson, and Steve King: STOP RUNNING ME RAGGED.

The RNC is still generating more stupidity that I can cover in multiple days of four-quote IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS, but I will continue to do my best. Today, my focus is the same as the RNC Day 2 focus - the complete and utter demonization of Hillary Clinton despite all evidence to the contrary.

“LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!" - The RNC Delegates, proving the power of the echo chamber.

For nearly three decades, Republicans have been insisting that Hillary Clinton is a criminal, and that if they just keep investigating her, they'll surely prove it. Whitewater, Lewinski, Foster, Benghazi, E-Mails. They have spent decades trying and have never, ever succeeded. Except for the one thing they succeed at. Refusing to accept the results of these investigations and just acting like they've proven Hillary is a crook.

And that's why Chris Christie could goad a room full of them into a lathering, psychotic frenzy, in their Hillary For Prison T-Shirts, in a display of bloodthirsty glee I usually associate with pro wrestling. Except the wrestling fans know it's all an entertaining fiction. The RNC audience thinks it's established fact after decades of talk radio and Fox News echo chamber, and no amount of evidence (or lack thereof) will convince them otherwise. See also:

"This whole thing disgusts me, Hillary Clinton should be put in the firing line and shot for treason. - New Hampshire state representative Al Baldasaro.

Even given that three of the biggest signifiers for Complete Nutjob status are "New Hampshire", "Republican", and "State Representative", come the fuck on. We don't even still have firing lines and shoot people for treason. And, of course, even the worst Republican wet dream about what Hillary allegedly did about Benghazi wouldn't qualify as treason.

I guarantee you Baldasaro's misguided violent murder fantasy currently wasting the Secret Service's time is based around the now infamous "stand down order", which has been debunked and disproven a bajillion-and-a-half times but was sort of in the trailer to Michael Bay's failure of a Benghazi movie so people are still allowed to believe it and we're not allowed to give them non-lethal electrical shocks until they cut it the fuck out. Politics isn't fair.

"Are we willing to elect as president someone who has as their role model somebody who acknowledges Lucifer?” - Ben Carson, Ben Carsonning the shit out of it at the RNC.

Ben Carson is the herpes of politics. Nobody really wanted him, but he's the inevitable product of a necessary and important process. And it's impossible to be entirely rid of him. You can just do your best to suppress him and forget he's there, and then, when there's a Ben Carson outbreak, just deal with the pain and inconvenience until it passes.

Anyway, Carson's logic is that Hillary met with Saul Alinsky when she was in college. Alinsky dedicated one of his books to Lucifer. Therefore, Hillary is a closet Satanist. This, of course, ignores the actual definition of "role model", the madness of the right-wing's nuance-free depiction of Alinsky as the Adolf Hitler of hippies, the fact that Alinsky's dedication treats Lucifer as a fictional rebel, not an actual entity who reigns in hell, and, in typical Carson fashion, all ties to reality or common sense. But hey, Trump can still pivot to the mainstream and win over the moderates, right?

"This whole business does get a little tired, Charlie. I would ask you to go back through history and figure out where are these contributions that have been made by these other categories of people that you are talking about, where did any other subgroup of people contribute more to civilization?" - Longtime occupant of this space Steve King, defending the honor of Honky History.

This didn't happen at the RNC, it happened on an unrelated MSNBC panel discussion, but the way things are going, if I don't get King's paean to white supremacy in now, I'll miss out on it entirely.

Note that King didn't even use the usual argument that because white people ended up being in charge of shit for a few centuries, their version of civilization is better than the rest. No, he completely discounts the contributions to civilizations of all other "subgroups", as defined by a mixture of geography and melanin. I suspect King thinks whitey would have gotten around to inventing gunpowder and jazz eventually.