Archive - Jul 6, 2016

Trump Trump Boom

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Memo to Donald Trump, Donald Trump, and PBS: YOU ARE DUMB.

It can't be all Trump, but at the same time, it's gotta be mostly Trump. IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

“Dishonest media is trying their absolute best to depict a star in a tweet as the Star of David rather than a Sheriff's Star, or plain star! - Donald Trump, blaming the media for his tweet of the Star of David on top of money.

One of the constant criticisms I hear pundits level at the Trump campaign is inconsistency. You never know what you're gonna get from one day to the next. He lacks "message discipline". He just says a bunch of stuff and nobody can control him and yadda yadda bunch of other synonyms for "dipshit asshole with diarrhea of the mouth".

So it's weird that the most consistent thing about Trump's campaign gets largely underplayed by those same pundits - his consistent connection to white supremacists. Not only do white supremacists love him, not only do white supremacists support him, not only has Trump been very slow and anemic in his attempts to distance himself from the support of white supremacists like David Duke. Trump also constantly promotes their shit, like with the retweet of an anti-Semitic anti-Hillary image that got him into trouble this week. He just can't seem to quit them.

"She said today that we may consider the attorney general to go forward. That’s like a bribe isn’t it? Isn’t that sort of a bribe? It's a disgrace.” - Trump, last night, turning a small victory into a small defeat because he's a dipshit asshole with diarrhea of the mouth.

That, right there, is Trump's duo of fatal flaws - the desire to make everything about him, and his immersion into the deep wingnut fever swamps that override his better judgment. The FBI's report on Hillary's e-mails was about as bad as news could be and still be considered "good news" for the campaign. It's what we all knew - basically letting the convenience of technology override security concerns because of a general lack of given fucks. And yes, the decision was somewhat tainted by Bill Clinton's "shoulda known better" tarmac visit with Loretta Lynch.

But if the fix was in, the fix was in months ago. You don't have to take an unconfirmed report, lie about when it allegedly happened, and straight up call it a "bribe" to make Hillary look bad. All you have to do is sit back and let Hillary look bad on her own, because, well, this makes her look bad on her own. But Trump can't stop himself. He has to openly accuse her of bribery in a way that's so easily debunked CNN will only give it credence for three days. And the fight will be about bribery, not Hillary, and Hillary's gonna win a bribery fight.

"We showed a combination of the best fireworks from this year and previous years. It was the patriotic thing to do." - PBS, explaining why their coverage of the Washington D.C. Fourth of July celebration was missing most of the clouds that were present on the Fourth.

Patriotic? Wait, what? It might have been the most aesthetic thing to do. It certainly wasn't the most journalistic thing to do, even given the level of "journalism' required for pointing cameras at fireworks and microphones at the inevitable John Phillips Sousa. But cloudy fireworks doesn't actually make America weaker in the eyes of the world or its citizens, PBS. They're just cloudy fireworks.

That said, I'd like to thank PBS for one thing. People noticed the lack of clouds in the PBS footage. They noticed the lack of Capitol building scaffolding as a tip the footage was from last year. You know what they didn't notice? DIFFERENT FIREWORKS. You know why? Because ALL FIREWORKS LOOK THE SAME. Apologies to the designers of fireworks displays out there wasting their lives injecting subtle variations into their masterpieces, but nobody notices that shit, ever. PBS could just cut together clips from their collection of fireworks footage every year, and as long as they were more careful about context clues, nobody would notice. Hell, maybe they've been doing it for years without anyone noticing.